Prestan
Vice Council in Charge of Flames and Summary Combustions
Not Without Innocence
Posts: 128
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Post by Prestan on Nov 27, 2007 15:52:53 GMT -5
What would you have done differently?
Personally, I was not fond of Preston's son turning out to be good all along, I think it was kind of a last minute quick fix to that conflict. It ended abruptly, and with no explanation. Are we to believe his cold demanor, robotic like tone, and keeping on top of Preston's prozium intake was all just an act? I think its a stretch too far. Robbie was portrayed as a typical Librian slave, caring only about following the system and learning from Father via wall screen. I think the end of his mini-story, within the much larger story, could have been much stronger.
Now, to put my money where my mouth is, what would I have done?
OK, this is gonna take awhile to explain so get ready to read.
Going back to the beginning of the film, when Brandt and Partridge are in the albino car driving back to Libria (ie: "It does" scene) we see Partridge dose. I think that dose should have been a dud, a fake prozium, created by the resistance for spies to blend in and look like their dosing w/o actually injecting themselves' with prozium.
Preston would later discover this fake prozium (negzium, had to say it) at Mary's little hideout within the wall. We'd have some short scene in which he goes to a lab and finds out its not actually prozium, but in fact... whatever, sugar water, doesn't matter. He later finds Partridge in possession of the same fake formula in the scene where he discovers the photograph of Partridge and Mary together at the morgue.
Blah blah, the movie goes on, but note the scene where he's messing around with Robbie's intervals... hint hint.
Eventually, the sweep team comes in to Preston's house to search for unused prozium, and as in the movie, Preston finds them gone and in Robbie's possession. However, Robbie, is more confused than confident. Preston asks why Robbie hasnt turned him in yet, and Robbie says he doesn't know. Preston says, "I do." We get a quick flashback of Preston in Robbie's room, replacing his prozium with the fake ones he found at Mary's place. Robbie's eyes widen, realizing he hasn't been dosing and is now a sense offender. He turns around to leave the washroom.
Preston: Robbie! Robbie: I have to turn you in. Preston: But you won't. Robbie: It's the law. Preston: Robbie, there's a reason you haven't reported me. Robbie: You think I'm afraid? Afraid they'll arrest me too? If I just explain to them what you've done... Preston: You know that won't matter to them. Robbie: And Lisa? Did you steal her interval too? Preston: (pauses) I didn't have to.
*robbie begins to get emotional and walks to the door. *Preston's tone turns to a strict but loving father.
Preston: Robbie, look at me. Robbie: ... Preston: Look at me!
*robbie slowly turns around to face Preston, showing signs of near crying.
Preston: Its not fear that stops you. It's something else. You don't understand it, you can't explain it.... because you've never FELT it before. Robbie: No! I'm not a sense offender! I'm not like you!
*robbie begins to choke, his over prozium-injected body is fighting the emotion. *Preston gets on his knees and grabs Robbie's shoulders.
Preston: Robbie! Robbie, listen to me! You have to let go! Just let go! Robbie: I can't.. I... Preston: Robbie say it. Tell me why you haven't reported me. Robbie: ... Preston: Say it son! Robbie: Because..... I love you.
*dramatic hug and crying from Robbie. Preston is smiling.
*cut to scene where Preston is calling the vice council to turn in the resistance.
obviously thats just a rough draft, but you get the idea. tell me what you guys think =)
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Post by clericjay on Nov 27, 2007 16:19:56 GMT -5
I would have changed nothing! This movie is as perfect as a movie can be in my mind. It's my absolutely favourite. To comment to this interesting scene, you've written. I think you are able to cope with critic. I matched a slight mistake in the dialog. Didn't you listened to Dupont as he told Preston that there's no mercy for sense offenders? They have to be executed immediately, without any trial. As Robbie says that he doesn't fears to be arrested, he should have known that he would be executed for sure. And this would make the whole scene much more dramatically. But your understanding of Robbie isn't the same, like I have. Your Robbie is in conflict with himself. He said he doesn't wants to be a sense offender, but he wants to have feelings. My Robbie hates the system, because they killed his mother. He didn't took his doze because he didn't wanted to be a slave of Father any more. The same for his sister. But his father was a grammaton cleric and he has to act like a fanatic of the system to survive. But now John is a sense offender too and fights the system like he would like to do. I think Robbie is very proud of his father and supports him, especially in the "house investigation" scene. This is the reason why I don't think that your change would match into the concept of the whole movie, in the way I understanded it. This is only my personal opinion and of course you may have a different one. I think in another movie or context your scene would be a effective and dramatical one, I would appreciate very much. ;D The point with the fake Prozium is very interesting and I've never thought about this. But you did and I think this would match into the whole concept and is a good addition to EQ universe.
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reosan
Sweeper
this movie is a drug
Posts: 85
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Post by reosan on Nov 27, 2007 17:51:46 GMT -5
Prestan, I like the "idea" of expanding on the story of Robbie, but your version sounds a little sappy (sorry, you did ask). I think Robbie would have figured out he was feeling long before then, if his dose was replaced with a fake. I mean, after all, he's been trained to seek that out. He would have sensed it within himself. Now that might bring about a great scene where Robbie confronts John about it (confusion & anger would be "new" to him). That would be more interesting to me than the scene you described. But of course, I like the film the way it is.... Nice idea though.
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Prestan
Vice Council in Charge of Flames and Summary Combustions
Not Without Innocence
Posts: 128
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Post by Prestan on Nov 27, 2007 22:16:27 GMT -5
Prestan, I like the "idea" of expanding on the story of Robbie, but your version sounds a little sappy . Oh I whole heartly agree its a bit "sappy", I wouldn't recommend my script. Even writing it made me gag a little, but I just wanted to give you an idea. All in all, my main point was that I think the resolve of preston's son needed to be more in depth, not done so quickly. Ya, the scene I wrote is a bit... dramatic, but I just felt like the two characters, based on their previous scenes, were in desperate need of a father-son moment as closure, which is very hard to execute whilst avoiding a sappy tone. If you guys can agree that the writing is chick-flick-quality, but the idea in it of itself is good, or at least interesting, then I'm satisfied.
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Post by Aedh on Nov 28, 2007 0:18:44 GMT -5
I believe if it were me, I would have had Robbie still be a true-blue Prozium-head just as he appeared to be all along, and try to accuse John to the Sweeper team; John would have had to make a snap decision then and there; the Revolution, or his son.
And he would have chosen the Revolution, pulled his Beretta, and dispatched Robbie then and there, explaining to the Sweepers that the doses were Robbie's unused ones that he himself was hiding because he had not yet made up his mind to turn Robbie in. That might seem like a stretch, but it's very hard to argue the dedication of a man who's just sacrificed his son with his own hand. Now that, my friends, is drama.
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Prestan
Vice Council in Charge of Flames and Summary Combustions
Not Without Innocence
Posts: 128
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Post by Prestan on Nov 28, 2007 0:30:24 GMT -5
I believe if it were me, I would have had Robbie still be a true-blue Prozium-head just as he appeared to be all along, and try to accuse John to the Sweeper team; John would have had to make a snap decision then and there; the Revolution, or his son. And he would have chosen the Revolution, pulled his Beretta, and dispatched Robbie then and there, explaining to the Sweepers that the doses were Robbie's unused ones that he himself was hiding because he had not yet made up his mind to turn Robbie in. That might seem like a stretch, but it's very hard to argue the dedication of a man who's just sacrificed his son with his own hand. Now that, my friends, is drama. dude, f*** my theory, thats kick ass. go with that one.
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katalina
Resistance Member
Tetragrammaton. There is nothing we can't do.
Posts: 15
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Post by katalina on Nov 28, 2007 3:00:41 GMT -5
Aedh
"Now that, my friends, is drama".
It's even tragedy, but I would'n support Preston's efforts if he'd done this, because he would become the same as those he was trying to defeat (or even worse, because most of them don't feel).
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Prestan
Vice Council in Charge of Flames and Summary Combustions
Not Without Innocence
Posts: 128
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Post by Prestan on Nov 28, 2007 3:50:11 GMT -5
One must also wonder what possible scenario preston can be put in where he's forced to sacrifice someone for the greater good, as opposed to just killing all the bad guys.
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Post by Aedh on Nov 28, 2007 9:39:06 GMT -5
One must also wonder what possible scenario preston can be put in where he's forced to sacrifice someone for the greater good, as opposed to just killing all the bad guys. Well I think that takes it to a higher level. While Robbie wouldn't necessarily be my first choice, since as a rule I detest violence against children, if it were done in a sort of discreet way ... and it does tie up that plotline. However, it WOULD make Preston less likeable, more conflicted. That's an important point. There's a revolution going on, and anyone who's studied revolutions knows that the people who pull them off usually commit atrocities against those very near them ... Robespierre/Danton, Hitler/Ernst Roehm, Mao Tse-Tung/Lin Piao, Lenin and the Red Terror, etc. And it would show that he can't quite shake off his old Cleric nature easily ... his cold-blooded Cleric instincts temporarily triumphing over his better nature. And it would also add piquancy to the final sequences, where an element of blood revenge against the terrible system that conditioned him to do that would be added. It would also balance out his shooting of Partridge earlier in a dramatic way. He killed Partridge because he felt he had to, to support Father ... and then he'd be killing Robbie because he felt he had to, in order to support the revolution against Father. I like irony.
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Post by Witcher Wolf on Nov 28, 2007 10:02:16 GMT -5
I also detest violence against children, but blowing Robbie up was fun :>
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Post by Aedh on Nov 28, 2007 14:19:39 GMT -5
I also detest violence against children, but blowing Robbie up was fun :> Oh I agree ... the toffee-nosed little nark.
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reosan
Sweeper
this movie is a drug
Posts: 85
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Post by reosan on Nov 28, 2007 16:13:11 GMT -5
My, my, that is a pretty extreme way to demonstrate the point. A bit much for me, but I guess Robbie doesn't bother me quite that much.
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Post by clericjay on Nov 28, 2007 16:39:23 GMT -5
I don't like the fought of killing Robbie. It would be a very interesting conflict for sure, but I think Preston couldn't be so cruel, especially because he lost Mary before and he is emotional hurt in a extremely way. But he is able to hide this in front of all these Librians. I think he couldn't kill Robbie. And if he would, he would be as heartless as Dupont himself. I think he would have rather killed all the sweepers running around in his apartment and trying to cover it up afterwards. I don't like the "killing Robbie" version and I think that Robbie is a sympathetically character the way he is. (And I would like to see him in EQ 2 as a "cleric", with a new function and supporting Preston. ;D )
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Post by Aedh on Nov 28, 2007 17:42:39 GMT -5
Well, I do agree with you, Jay, that it's unlikable. However, I often write things that I find personally unlikable if the logic of the story dictates them. My NaNo novel is a case in point. The characters who survive to the end only do so by engaging in behaviour that would get them involuntarily committed to a prison psych ward ... assuming they successfully avoided being shot on sight by the police. But that is how it is when you choose to write about a very sick society.
That being said, I must say that I'm not a Robbie-hater. That was simply one idea. But even though I sympathise, I do find Robbie's very sudden transition from 'scary little Prozium zombie' to 'oh I was off the dose all along' to be bothersome. Another way to do it would be to rethink his earlier appearances, and plant one or two indications that maybe he is not quite the Prozium zombie that he appeared to be.
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Post by Wraith on Nov 28, 2007 18:39:26 GMT -5
I like Robbie, keep him the way he is in the movie.
The DuPont's office scene. The atmosphere wasn't as good as in the rest of the movie. Also the fight between DuPont and Preston was a good concept but could've been done better.
The gun-butting scene could have done without the gratuitous use of slow-motion.
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Prestan
Vice Council in Charge of Flames and Summary Combustions
Not Without Innocence
Posts: 128
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Post by Prestan on Nov 29, 2007 1:00:54 GMT -5
this is a little off topic, but I gotta know. Wraith, I assume that your signature pic of Preston in different stances is supposed to say something, but I can't figure out what it is. Is it T-V-E-A(or I). If not, what letters are they, and what do they stand for?
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Post by Witcher Wolf on Nov 29, 2007 5:25:32 GMT -5
Y...M...C...A His tagline above the signature gives it away
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Prestan
Vice Council in Charge of Flames and Summary Combustions
Not Without Innocence
Posts: 128
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Post by Prestan on Nov 29, 2007 5:56:12 GMT -5
Y...M...C...A His tagline above the signature gives it away lol, suddenly it seems so obvious
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reosan
Sweeper
this movie is a drug
Posts: 85
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Post by reosan on Nov 29, 2007 17:19:29 GMT -5
*I love that sig, too*
Ok, I always thought that the way Robbie asked "Are you satisfied?" when he discovers his dad is checking his dose was a bit of a clue to him being off his Prozium (It's not huge, but something is there.)
John is so worried that he will be caught feeling that he doesn't notice his sons' emotions at the moment.
I think each of them was trying to cover, so they didn't observe the other one. IMHO, anyway...
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Post by Libby on Nov 29, 2007 18:50:37 GMT -5
That being said, I must say that I'm not a Robbie-hater. That was simply one idea. But even though I sympathise, I do find Robbie's very sudden transition from 'scary little Prozium zombie' to 'oh I was off the dose all along' to be bothersome. Another way to do it would be to rethink his earlier appearances, and plant one or two indications that maybe he is not quite the Prozium zombie that he appeared to be. *chuckles* I can't hate Robbie either...but I do enjoy putting him through hell! However, I don't think the transition was all that 'sudden'. If you remember, the OS had a scene where Preston reports having to 'destroy' Partridge and KW had put in a comment about Robbie's eyes being 'bright' when he hears about it, telling his father he's 'proud' of him. Although this would have made us believe he was a good little monastery boy, it would have made the whole volte-face uncomfortable, because he'd already reinforced his role by asking about reporting the crying Bobbie Taylor and appearing pleased at Partridge's death would be a bit much. I'm going to hark back to 'The Prestige' here...the part where Borden explains about the Chinese magician. Robbie had to live the lie...I doubt that he broke character even when he was on his own/with Lisa. He'd found the Prozium stash, but it's only when the apartment is being searched that he dares to reveal his secret. edit: oh yes...and if I'd directed EQ, CB would have taken his shirt off a lot more! *mops up drool*
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Post by aikidoal on Nov 29, 2007 22:15:10 GMT -5
edit: oh yes...and if I'd directed EQ, CB would have taken his shirt off a lot more! *mops up drool* I was about to say when I saw the title of the thread: "If I had directed EQ, the star wouldn't have left the casting couch." Robbie: He's fine as he is, and I like his portrayal in the film. In addition, I think the above changes would be best suited into a series instead of a 90+ minute film which already had a ton of stuff going down.
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Post by Witcher Wolf on Nov 30, 2007 5:49:47 GMT -5
If I directed EQ: I wouldn't change a thing.
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Post by Wraith on Dec 1, 2007 13:15:35 GMT -5
edit: oh yes...and if I'd directed EQ, CB would have taken his shirt off a lot more! *mops up drool* No, I just get jealous when that happens. Two words: Blood Squibs.
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Post by Wraith on Dec 1, 2007 13:47:26 GMT -5
But then the movie would lose some of its quasi-chick flick status.
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Post by Aedh on Dec 1, 2007 15:05:40 GMT -5
What's wrong with "chick-flicks?" Guaranteed to throw on the player and get your chick's emotions stirred up ... and she thanks you for watching along with her! Best invention since the Pill!
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Post by Wraith on Dec 1, 2007 17:53:43 GMT -5
I didn't say chick flicks were bad. Without the gunfights, Eq would be an example of a good chick flick.
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Post by Aedh on Dec 1, 2007 19:09:17 GMT -5
I didn't say chick flicks were bad. Without the gunfights, Eq would be an example of a good chick flick. Ah. Understood.
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Post by Wraith on Dec 5, 2007 17:02:15 GMT -5
this is a little off topic, but I gotta know. Wraith, I assume that your signature pic of Preston in different stances is supposed to say something, but I can't figure out what it is. Is it T-V-E-A(or I). If not, what letters are they, and what do they stand for? The "V" was the closest thing I could find to him making an "M"
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