Ashes Part 3 - Retribution

[JenGe]

Whew!! FINALLY!!!

Ashes Part 3 - Retribution

Again, I don't want to say too much until you guys have read it. Excellent as always Wolf....your style is unmatched but this one left me a bit sad...

(oh, also let me know of errors!!)

[Libby]

OMG!

Wonderfully done. Interestingly, it's a scenario that as a parent...and especially a mother... I simply could not have written. I could not have coped with the emotional fallout.

I think that Father...never having understood the bond between parents and children...has made his fatal error. Far from weakening Preston this will probably result in THE most devastating backlash. I wouldn't like to be around when the cold dish of revenge gets served.

[ClericWilkinson]

*blink* Oh my gosh, ClericWolf! How could you kill Lisa and Robbie?! That's quite the turn...wow. I must say--the thought of that happening didn't even cross my mind. Very good job, though...I'm dying for more!

[Witcher Wolf]

If you were entertained and perhaps a little saddened then I succeded beyond my wildest expecations for part 3.

[Sontin-JudasFm]

How could you?! They were two of my favourite characters *sniffles* I wouldn't like to be in Father/Ezekiel's shoes when Preston catches up to them though Powerful stuff, Wolfie, really great!

[TheMacroprosopus]

Yeah...this right here is officially the sequel to Equilibrium. Well, I think it should be.

Or even a collaboration of all the stories written about what happens after the film...

Anyway, wonderfully written, Wolf. Absolutely excellent. I quite enjoy the ...Shakespearean (almost) way Ezekiel has of speaking.

[ClericWilkinson]

ClericWolf said:

If you were entertained and perhaps a little saddened then I succeded beyond my wildest expecations for part 3.

Indeed--entertained and more then a little saddened... *sniff* lol, I agree with you Judas--wouldn't want to be in their shoes when Preston catches up with 'em... That will not be a pretty sight. Excellently done, ClericWolf--I can't wait for more!

[Libby]

Mind you...ClericWolf is also a past master at playing with our emotions...so I would suggest we prepare ourselves for something even more devious!

[Sasha]

Cleric Wolf
I'm almost speachless.....I love the emotional twists and turns, tearing me up over here! Can't wait for Ashes Part 4!!!

Sasha

[Witcher Wolf]

There are certain things I won't do however - as much as the evil twisted writer side of me wants to do them *G*

Thanks Sasha btw

I hope the best is yet to come *WEG*

[mawa]

The more I read this story, the better it gets. There are several things I love in "Retribution":

• The characters - your original characters all really well-rounded and distinct. As for the EQ characters, you do stay true to them, which I admire. Leading a pre-made character is way harder than building an original from the very scratch and you did a great job with it.
  
• The tension - one surely can't get bored while reading "Retribution". I'm really curious how will the story evolve and I'm waiting for more.
  
• The ending - you always manage to write an ending, which isn't a standard one, hits me with a strong punch and makes me want more .
  
• The plot - it would be indeed a splendid sequel to EQ. It's well-thought and consistent. And the fact, that Preston loses his family was a huge blow - both for him and for the reader.
  
• The fact, that this story is so darn vivid For a long time I had a problem to find an appropriate adjective to characterize your manner of writing.
  

To put it short: excellent & powerful stuff.

[Beefie]

Wolf - you've done it again!!

Absolutely Fantasticly Powerful Stuff!!

Simply Ore Inspiring!!

Can't wait for the next part.

One of my favorite bits has to be when they are in Father's lair. I thought at one point you were heading for the kidnapping gag, but no, you steered us down another road.

“I will find a fetch the woman, if it’s required?” The black clad Cleric replied in an almost mechanical-logical fashion.

“No, that is too clichéd and the damsel in distress has been done to death.”

Loved it.

[Witcher Wolf]

*chuckles*

I've never yet resulted to the damsel in distress, and I get the feeling anyone that tried to kidnap that particular woman would find themselves staring down the barrel of a Cleric's pistol faster than they could say "Treading on my dreams."

[Witcher Wolf]

MaWa said:

The more I read this story, the better it gets. There are several things I love in "Retribution":

• The characters - your original characters all really well-rounded and distinct. As for the EQ characters, you do stay true to them, which I admire. Leading a pre-made character is way harder than building an original from the very scratch and you did a great job with it.

KW's EQ characters are very tricky to write, but also in keeping with the whole post-EQ feel of Ashes they must evolve, this is what I hope I am achieving with John.

The original characters are fairly easy to keep in character, Tara is strong willed but not without her soft spots - don't be mistaken though that woman has a core of steel.

[/li][li]The tension - one surely can't get bored while reading "Retribution". I'm really curious how will the story evolve and I'm waiting for more.[/quote]

Wait and see

[/li][li]The ending - you always manage to write an ending, which isn't a standard one, hits me with a strong punch and makes me want more .[/quote]

I always find myself with a quandry of choices when it comes to the ending...usually the most twisted one wins.

[/li][li]The plot - it would be indeed a splendid sequel to EQ. It's well-thought and consistent. And the fact, that Preston loses his family was a huge blow - both for him and for the reader.[/quote]

I am both honoured and flattered that Stuponfucious and yourself think so, as well as a few others it seems - it gives me a big boost I must admit to read that.

[/li][li]The fact, that this story is so darn vivid For a long time I had a problem to find an appropriate adjective to characterize your manner of writing.
[/li][/ul][/quote]

Vivid is what I try and shoot for every time. I try and describe things in just enough detail - not too much as to saturate the reader with images and ideas, but just enough to whet the appetite and hopefully take the reader on an interesting journey.

To put it short: excellent & powerful stuff.

- Thanks, that's what I was aiming for in the end.

[Beefie]

ClericWolf said:

Ezekiel is a very methodical man and is probably far more in-touch with the whole 'mechanical logical' killer side of the Grammaton Cleric than many of the remnants of Father's old regime/guard.

He is quite capable of the cold blooded murder of a small child that's playing out in the street, since to him Preston and Jurgen's coup that broke Libria out of its original state of mind is only a temporary setback.

So that smalll child is already a sense offender, plain and simple and with a diseased tree you cut it down before the disease can spread - even if it is a sapling.

If you remember Jason Issacs as Lucious Malfoy or as I recently saw him: Captain Hook...he's who I had in mind when EK first appeared for the look and whole menacing edge to his voice.

Vocally he's got the slight twinge of a preacher but certainly keeps to the British side of villainy (hence the Lucious Malfoy influence).

(ClericWolf. The above quote is from you from another thread but I thought I would post my response here as it is about Ashes Part 3.)

That explains alot.

While reading Ashes Retribution, and loosing myself into the character of Ezekiel. I had this image in my mind of how I portrayed him. The image that came back to me was Jason Issacs, or rather Lucious Malfoy. So I thought I would just let you know you succeeded with your interpretation. (Hope that makes sense, never was very good with words.)

[Witcher Wolf]

Thanks for that. It's always nice to know when you hit the mark and are able to translate what's in your head into someone elses