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Post by Aedh on Feb 26, 2010 0:24:45 GMT -5
I decided to start a little column of Evil Genius Wit & Wisdom. It's meant to be original; these are all thoughts and sayings I came up with myself. None are quoted, so far as I'm aware; though of course if something is true is can be discovered by more than one mind.
Feel free to contribute your own gems. They don't have to be compatible with my thoughts, or indeed with anything.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with three hours stranded on the tarmac.
Alternatively:
The journey of a thousand miles begins with the realisation that you should have gone to the bathroom when you had the chance.
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Post by Aedh on Feb 26, 2010 0:25:34 GMT -5
If at first you don't succeed, you're a miserable loser. Go away.
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Post by Aedh on Feb 26, 2010 0:26:13 GMT -5
When you pray, God hears, but so does the devil.
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Post by Aedh on Feb 26, 2010 0:27:41 GMT -5
To-day is the first day of the rest of your long, downhill stretch toward decrepitude and death. Alternatively:In every day and in every way, I am getting older and older.
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Post by Aedh on Feb 26, 2010 0:28:50 GMT -5
No one ever lost a dollar by betting it on human stupidity.
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Post by Aedh on Feb 26, 2010 0:29:29 GMT -5
Committee: A group of incompetents banded together for the purpose of making sure things stay at their level.
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Post by Aedh on Feb 26, 2010 0:30:32 GMT -5
Don't work harder, work smarter, my boss said. So I took his advice and quit.
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Post by Aedh on Feb 26, 2010 0:31:18 GMT -5
Rise to the top. That way, when you get tired of running in place, you have nowhere to go but down.
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Post by Aedh on Feb 26, 2010 0:32:38 GMT -5
Rise to the top. That way, when you get tired of running in place, you have nowhere to go but down. Helped on your way of course by hostile, resentful underlings who each dream of replacing you.
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Post by Aedh on Feb 26, 2010 0:34:04 GMT -5
Whoever said only two things in this life are certain--death and taxes--forgot about the third; form-filling.
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Post by kingofsorrow on Feb 26, 2010 3:09:07 GMT -5
if you take that bus, you'll get there.
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Post by Aedh on Feb 26, 2010 9:00:19 GMT -5
If you want to keep busy, make it your job to look for failure.
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Post by Aedh on Feb 26, 2010 9:07:57 GMT -5
It rains on the just and the unjust. It's the just that get wet, however.
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Post by Aedh on Feb 26, 2010 9:08:55 GMT -5
It rains on the just and the unjust. It's the just that get wet, however. It comes of having your umbrella confiscated by the unjust.
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Post by Aedh on Feb 26, 2010 15:12:33 GMT -5
Is older really better? Yes. If you're a bottle of wine.
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Post by Aedh on Feb 26, 2010 15:14:56 GMT -5
Do unto others whatever your liability insurance will permit.
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Post by Aedh on Feb 26, 2010 15:17:03 GMT -5
Not my own, but one so good I can't resist including it here ...
"No good deed goes unpunished."
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Post by Aedh on Mar 3, 2010 1:34:35 GMT -5
Love thy neighbour. Don't forget thy condom.
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Post by Aedh on Mar 3, 2010 1:35:37 GMT -5
You're not getting older, you're getting--oh, wait ... you ARE getting older.
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Post by Aedh on Mar 3, 2010 1:39:09 GMT -5
You're not getting older, you're getting ... you're getting--um, you know--more whatsit.
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Post by Aedh on Mar 3, 2010 1:40:16 GMT -5
A penny saved is a penny taxed.
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Post by Aedh on Mar 3, 2010 1:42:00 GMT -5
Little strokes fell great oaks, and get you a testy visit from your local conservation association withal.
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Post by Aedh on Mar 5, 2010 14:09:27 GMT -5
The meek shall not inherit the earth, but they will be eaten by the closed-minded and aggressive who do.
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Post by Aedh on Mar 5, 2010 14:09:53 GMT -5
You're just as fat as you feel--no more, no less.
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Post by Aedh on Mar 5, 2010 14:12:04 GMT -5
Blessed are the peace makers, for they shall have no end of occupation.
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Post by Aedh on Mar 7, 2010 9:54:39 GMT -5
I shall now reveal ... Aedh's First Law!
90% of everything is crap.
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Post by Aedh on Mar 7, 2010 9:55:30 GMT -5
I shall now reveal ... Aedh's Second Law!
The faster you want to go, the more slow bastards pop up blocking your way.
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Post by Aedh on Mar 7, 2010 9:59:04 GMT -5
I shall now reveal ... Aedh's Third Law!
To those who have much, more is given. To those who have little, what little they have is taken away. Eat, or be eaten; there is no third choice.
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Post by Aedh on Mar 15, 2010 9:51:32 GMT -5
Life is like crime. You need motive, means, and opportunity.
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Post by Aedh on Mar 16, 2010 1:53:51 GMT -5
I shall now reveal ... Aedh's Fourth Law!
The worth of your excuses is proportional to your standing in the company.
If you're staff and you're sick, you come to work anyway. If you're management and your spouse is sick, you get a day off. If you're a director and your mum's cat is sick, you get a week, and everyone else has to sign a card for her.
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