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Post by crimsoncleric on Jun 9, 2009 0:37:38 GMT -5
I have written a new fanfiction and I was hoping to get some reviews back from people. If anyone is interested in reading this new fanfiction, you can IM me on AIM or email me and I would be more than happy to share. I have emailed JenGe a copy of fanfiction but it might take a while to upload it. Synopsis: The fanfiction takes place right after the events concluding the movie. The war is far from over and Father's power structure has not died with Dupont. The Council, who have to take upon themselves the power and responsibilities of the late Dupont have a new weapon they are about to unveil that may prove too much for the Resistance. In the middle of it all is Preston. Will he be able to take up his guns and go up against a weapon far deadlier than any First Class Cleric or Sweeper army could prove? Find out. I sincerely hope people will read and enjoy it. Thank you, beloved Equilibrium fans.
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Post by crimsoncleric on Jun 9, 2009 0:46:31 GMT -5
Chapter 1 – The Beginning of the End
**Disclaimer: I do not own “EQUILIBRIUM©” as it is property of Dimension Studios and the beautiful work of Kurt Wimmer. This story basically takes place right after Cleric Preston defeats Father and signals the Resistance of his victory. I have changed the overall mechanics of the story a little. Since a lot was kept out of the story such as the detailed mechanism of Librian government and its enforcement, I had to fill in for it. Please read and comment. Do take notice that if there is anything negative, I would appreciate it as constructive criticism with suggestions and a bit of humility. I will also be using the name John and Preston or both interchangeably depending on the situation. Thank you and enjoy.
Chapter 1 - A New Beginning By: Crimson Cleric
With one last shot of his issued piece, Cleric John Preston ended what seemed like an endless nightmare. Father was dead, to simply put it. Now the Council was leaderless. As Preston made his way through the Communication Center, he destroyed the telescreens, setting off an inadvertent signal to the Resistance of Father’s demise. Throughout Libria, bombs exploded, putting an end to the opiate known as Prozium. Riots and gun battles ensued throughout the streets. The outer rim of Libria was already liberated by the time that Preston arrived at the Palace of Justice. However, the forces of Libria and Father’s Liberation Army had pushed back the Resistance forces and were firmly holding their ground in the center of the city. They also managed to take back a hefty amount of territory of the bustling metropolis.
John knew that the Resistance would suffer a heavy and insurmountable loss if Jurgen and the other leaders were terminated in the City Furnaces. He saw that a group of freedom fighters were having some trouble with the Sweeper teams. He snuck behind a pillar, and made his move. He quickly grabbed the nearest soldier in an armlock and disarmed him promptly. He then used the AK-47 to quickly take out the rest of the Sweeper squad. Preston was already marked as a “friendly” so he led the team to infiltrate and recover the Resistance leaders.
“But how will we get them out of there? There are more than a hundred Sweepers fully armed and mobilized securing the Palace of Justice. We have to regroup and think of an alternative strategy, Preston.” James Black, the second in command of the Resistance fighters argued.
“That would seem like a good idea, but we have NO TIME! We need to get Jurgen out of there. We have no idea how long they have left. I need you three to secure the outer perimeter. Let no one through. Use this to contact us if trouble arrives. I have already scrambled the communication code so we shouldn’t have any problems with any Sweeper reinforcements. The rest of you will STAY BY MY SIDE! FOLLOW MY LEAD AND DO NOT MAKE ANY RASH MOVES! IS THAT CLEAR?!!” Preston commanded.
“YES SIR!” the Resistance team affirmed.
“Okay then, let’s move out, and be on your guard.” Preston commanded as he loaded his weapon and waved his arm for the men to move out.
The Sweeper teams were yelling out “STOP! CLERIC PRESTON, YOU ARE UNDER ARREST, SURRENDER AND DISARM YOURSELF, IMMEDIATELY!”
Before they could get in the first shot, Preston immediately fired at odd angles and took out the Sweepers with relative ease as he was now the Master of Gun Kata in all of Libria. More Sweepers fired as the rest were now alerted to an invasion attempt by the Resistance. The Sweeper Lieutenants knew that if Jurgen escaped that this war would never end. Before they could place the Resistance leaders into the crematorium, the turbines powering the City Furnaces shut down. What was going on?
John smiled; he knew everything was going to plan, at least for now. Before he managed to leave the Capitol Building, he had made sure to set off a default shutdown of the City Turbines by manual override. He was now controlling things with a remote that he “borrowed.” Not only did he know the type of strategies that Father’s Army would employ but he also had access to key files and documents that would be of great use to the Resistance. John Preston was already a gifted Grammaton Cleric, but now he was a real threat to the Council as he now had a purpose that came from the heart and not from the criticizing and harsh Voice of Father, Dupont.
“PRESTON! Heavy Sweeper Infantry [HSI] at 3:00!” yelled Black, snapping John back to reality.
The Sweeper team was closing in on Preston’s team. Preston quickly pulled out a ying-tao grenade and launched it while shooting the AK-47.
BOOM!!!!!!
The grenade laid waste to whatever was left of the HSI team and Preston signaled Black and his team to cover the rear as Preston made his way to the City Furnaces. Surprisingly, the inner part of the Palace of Justice was not as heavily guarded. This is not to say that Preston had it easy. Automatic machine gun nests and secondary security systems were activated and on high alert. Preston had some tricks up his sleeves and so he was able to take out most of the obstacles, with his team taking care of the rest and securing the area. After what seemed like forever, John was able to get to the City Furnaces. Several Elite Sweepers were guarding the area, and Grammaton Cleric, Derick Votz was heading the execution of the Resistance Leaders.
“Black, you and your men have to take out the Sweepers. Be careful they are wearing some heavy armor and are heavily armed. This will make them slow targets. I will take care of Cleric Votz. Whatever happens, you have to get Jurgen and the others away from here. I will go in first, and when I signal, you will rush out and face the Sweepers head on. Make your shots count. Good luck.” Preston made his last remarks and headed for battle.
“Well now, the Judas finally appears. You are a disgrace to the Tetragrammaton and a complete failure. Tell me, what words of comfort did you tell your Resistance friends before you sent them to their graves? Speaking of which…. CAPTAIN, THROW THEM IN NOW!!!” Votz spat out as he unlocked his sword.
Before John or Black’s team could do anything, the Elites threw the leaders into the Furnace Chamber and sealed the doors. Preston kept his cool and motioned for Black and his team to remain hidden until the time came.
“Well, men, you will get the pleasure of partaking in the death of our very own First Class Tetragrammaton. Any last words, Sense Offender?” Votz grinned, just like Cleric Brandt before his death.
“Just one: NOW!!” Preston signaled Black and the men to fire at the Elite Sweepers. Fire shots went off and took out 2 of the Elite Sweepers. This caused the three remaining Sweepers to focus on Black and so an all out shooting spree began.
“First Class, my ass. I will enjoy cutting you down, traitor.” Votz made his final reply before going into offensive stance with his katana.*
**AUTHOR’S NOTE: I am sorry to interrupt the train of thought in the story but there are a few things that I need to clarify. First, is that there are several classes of Tetragrammaton Clerics. The first of these are Firearms Masters or Gunslingers. They specialize in all firearm combat, taking up Gun Kata as basic training. The second series is Blade Master, handling all blades from long swords to katanas and kadachis. The third series of Clerics are Masters of Projectiles and Explosives. Usually they are taught bomb diffusion and the mechanics and use of explosive projectiles and projectile launching devices such as rocket launchers. This group is known as the Grammaton Bomb Squad. The fourth class is more of a diverse collection known as the Special Weapons Masters. As the name describes, they are taught a variety of weapons such as the kunai (small knife/projectile) or bludgeoning weapons like maces or clubs. Those that go on to learn ALL of the training involved in each of these sections earns the level of First Class Tetragrammaton Cleric, such as our own John Preston. Blade Masters usually serve as bodyguards for important members of Librian government such as the council or Father himself. They also receive additional assignment with securing important prisoners of war. Gunslinger Clerics are involved in raid and interrogation missions. Special Weapons Unit is used for assassination and reconnaissance of enemy forces. The Grammaton Bomb Squad is among the first on open battle lines and are invaluable when it comes to situations where Sweepers are forced into enemy territory armed with remote explosives and motion sensor mines. Both the Gunslingers and the Blade Masters carry two weapons, in case of back up or extra firepower. I just wanted to clear that up. Now back to the story.**
Votz quickly made a few stab slashes at Preston, while Preston merely dodged. At the beginning of any real challenging fight, the Cleric is taught to first test the absolute strength and speed of his foe and then to assess the situation by deciding what strategy to use. In this case, Votz had already planned to use the fact that Preston was a Gunslinger and that he would be using the standard issue Beretta. The disadvantage for a Gunslinger was that during a clip exchange there is a moment of about 4-5 seconds where the Cleric is rendered defenseless. The Cleric is taught to discharge and withdraw until the weapon is fully loaded. This particular weakness is what separates the Second Class, a step-down from First Class, from the rest of the Cleric Monastery. As Preston was testing Votz’s speed, he edged closer and closer in range. At first, he was shooting to keep Votz on his feet while he edged closer. With his last couple of shots in his piece, he fell back, creating the illusion that he was reloading, and as Votz drew closer he pulled out of his hideaway and shot his last two rounds, one making it to Votz’s left shoulder. With this, he dropped his guns and ran towards Votz and tackled him to the ground. The two of them struggled to reach Votz’s sword. Preston was, in the end, quicker and snatched the sword and the two quickly went into offensive stance.
Votz pulled out his second sword and smiled, “So, you think you can best me at my own game?”
Preston made the first strike with a swift upper slash that was meant to recover some ground against Votz. Votz was already familiar and well trained with this particular opening and parried the attack with his sword pointed to the left. He quickly swiped the sword right and did a 360. Preston had always seen this move executed by Brandt during training, so he knew exactly how to defend against it. For several minutes the two tested each other, not really fighting seriously or inflicting critical damage. Preston was getting weary and Black and his men looked like they were in trouble. He knew that his next move would have to be the finishing one. Black and Preston both knew that reinforcements were on their way, and with the primary security system out of commission, it wouldn’t take the Sweepers long to get there. Preston saw an opening in Votz’s defense and so he went in with a killing stroke. Votz parried and the two of them struggled with swords hilt-to-hilt. With that, Preston kicked Votz in the stomach and made a final thrust. Hence, Cleric Votz’s career in Father’s Army came to and end.
Preston quickly made his way to Black’s battle. Only 2 Elites were standing and they had withdrawn from enemy fire. Preston snuck past as Black continues his onslaught. Before the Elites could raise their weapons, Preston quickly ended it.
“Preston, we don’t have much time, we already have Jurgen, but they have covered the exit. We will stay behind and cover your retreat. Go, QUICKLY!!!” Black demanded of Preston.
Preston remembered something that one of the Sweeper Extermination Squad told him when he tried to rescue Mary from the crematorium: “We’re sorry, Cleric. If we force the time locks, the City Turbines will explode at street level.”
“There is a back way out of here. There will be some resistance so be prepared. Take the corridor to a staircase. It may seem like a dead end, but take this remote and enter the following code: C3SH79 and a door will open. Make your way out as quickly as possible. I will follow along shortly.” Preston commanded Black as he handed him the remote he referred to.
“What about you? What are you going to do?” Black asked as he prepared to leave.
“Buy you and your men some time.” Preston said as he pulled out a second remote he had used earlier to stall the Turbines before Votz could execute Jurgen. Up until now, the engines had been priming, even as they had retrieved Jurgen. The pressure locks could barely handle the incredible build up in pressure and heat. Preston quickly signaled for Black to leave, and entered in the final code to force the time locks at the supercritical point. He quickly went after Black and once they were outside, Preston led the Resistance fighters far away from the Palace of Justice. Just as they were to be arrested by the Sweeper reinforcements, Preston deactivated the locks.
Suddenly, there was a rumble in the ground and the Palace of Justice exploded with the fire bursting out into all directions. Several of the Mobile Command Center Transports (MCCT) were destroyed and many Sweeper were burned alive. In the chaos that ensued, Preston quickly started to make his way out of the blockade, while Black and the rest of the Resistance covered him. They soon were outside the sector of the city controlled by Father’s Army. As they were making their way to the transports back to the Nethers, Black glimpsed back.
“Mission accomplished. Glad it’s finally over.” Black sighed.
“No, it’s not over yet. This is just the beginning. Looks like we’re back at war, Jurgen. Something we have tried to prevent for a long time.” Preston said.
“No, John. We have always been at war, a war with our humanity. At least now people have realized that since they actually have a glimpse of that humanity back with the destruction of the Prozium supplies.” Jurgen commented. “We should get going.”
John and the rest of them made their way back to the Nethers. However, all was not victorious for the Resistance for the Council was calculating their next move. Meanwhile, things had grown to a standstill between the Resistance sector and the Librian sector.
That was the end of Chapter 1. I hope you liked it. More to come very soon.
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Post by crimsoncleric on Jun 9, 2009 0:52:57 GMT -5
Chapter 2 - The Council's Machinations By: Crimson Cleric
As Preston, Black and the rest of the Resistance took to the streets in escorting Jurgen and the other Resistance leaders away from the smoking ruins of what once was the Palace of Justice; several grim faces watched the bloody street battles with grave concern and contemplation, and a measure of panic. The only face among them who seemed unaffected by the recent events was Vice-Council Heinrich Ducard. To him, he had already anticipated this move by the Resistance, and indeed, had been counting on Preston going rogue. In fact, the demise of the late “Father” Dupont couldn’t have come at a better time.
The Cleric Monastery was already put under Red Alert and all available Clerics, not including the Cleric Reserve Corp., were out in full force providing much needed back-up to the Sweeper teams. Much of the outer rim of the city was under the control of the Resistance. The Sweeper teams had managed to set up a tight barricade closing off the inner section of Libria. The fighting was dying down as both sides set up camp to regroup and strategize their next moves. All was being monitored and information was being fed through to a dark control room fit with a large round table displaying a holographic projection of the city. It displayed both the sectors freed by the Resistance and those that remain under the control of the Council. The Council members were scattered around the room, viewing the monitors with growing concern and panic and blaming each other for the sudden uprising. An elderly Vice- Council Walters was growing impatient and was waiting for the full report on what was happening from Cleric Commander Braddock.
“Commander, what is the status report? Where do we stand and what are our current losses?” Walters asked Commander Braddock.
“Twelve Grammaton Bomb Squadrons have been lost. Twenty Sweeper teams have been compromised. Currently we have lost contact with four of our best Gunslinger Squads. We have lost control of nearly half the city, with the outer perimeter under Resistance control. All Prozium clinics have been completely destroyed. The reserve Prozium supplies have been moved to the Equilibrium center and we have doubled the security around the perimeter. Whatever remained of the SWMS (Special Weapons Masters Squad), which is not currently assigned to your personal security detail, has been mobilized to personally oversee the security and distribution of the Prozium reserve inoculations. We are getting reports that Jurgen and the rest of the Resistance leaders have escaped from the Palace of Justice, led by First Class Grammaton Cleric John Preston. The Cleric Reserve Corp. is currently awaiting the Council’s orders.” Commander Braddock completed his report.
“Thank you. That will be all Commander. Report back to the Monastery until further orders. Dismissed.” Walters dismissed Braddock. As Braddock left, the rest of the Council began to argue even more, with blame being placed upon Dupont, Preston’s betrayal and even upon each other. Walters’ patience had reached its limit.
“ENOUGH! Fellow Council members, it is time to put an end to all the arguing and for us to decide what the next move will be. My patient grows thin. Any bright ideas, gentlemen?” Walters called the room to order.
“Well, the Monastery must remain under Red Alert and our Cleric Reserve Corp. must be sent to the frontlines and sent to support the Sweeper teams and gain back whatever we can from this disaster. Barricades have already been set up around the primary building and throughout whatever sectors we have adequate control over.” Vice-Council Mason explained with little strain.
“You’re attention to the obvious continues to astound me. If you don’t mind, the rest of the Council doesn’t have the time for the mindless drivel of a senile old fool. Do yourself a favor and sit down and shut up!” Ducard replied coldly.
“WHY YOU SON OF …” Mason was about to reply when Walters interjected.
“That’s ENOUGH! The Council’s patience is growing thin. Mason, are you incapable of keeping yourself from being a complete malcontent? And, Ducard, this better be good.” Walters silenced the argument promptly.
“The Cleric Reserve Corp. would do little to help the situation now. The best they can do now is to be open targets for the Resistance. If the Council recalls, I had protested when the Council had elected Dupont for taking on the role of Father. I had warned the Council then that we had too much reliance on the Clerics and that the risk of them going rogue was just a matter of time. The Tetragrammaton was given too much judicial discretion during active duty and became an almost autonomous arm of our will. This was bound to occur. With nearly all the Prozium clinics destroyed by the Resistance, we have maybe 2 month’s supplies left of the original Prozium formulas to distribute throughout Libria. A new set of Prozium inoculations is currently being synthesized, but with the loss of the original formulas from the explosions, the new Prozium supplies will be less effective, especially on the Tetragrammaton as they experience stress levels much higher than the normal Sweeper teams and civilians. There is even a chance they may become addicted to the new versions of Prozium which could lead to periods of heightened emotional discharge, further destabilizing our control over the entire Cleric Corp. giving the Resistance an upper-hand. Reliance on the Cleric Corp. is no longer a viable option for us…” Ducard began explaining with relative calmness and assurance.
“And what exactly is your grand plan, Ducard?” Vice-Council Richards inquired.
“As the Council recalls, I had proposed Project Genesis as an improved alternative to using the Cleric Corp. I urge the Council to reconsider Genesis now that Dupont’s role of Father has ended and our situation has become a dire one…” Ducard was suddenly interrupted.
“Ducard, have you lost whatever sense you still had? Why are we even listening to this?!” Mason argued.
“Before the two of you begin to bicker and argue would you mind filling the rest of us in what exactly is Project Genesis?” Vice-Council Richards inquired.
“My apologies to the rest of the Council. I forgot that some of you were not presiding on the Council 15 years ago. Project Genesis was commissioned by the first Council, in which only Mason and I are the only ones aware of the particular details of the project. The purpose of Genesis was to create a set of armed assets that would be completely subservient to our commands. The solution was a set of highly advanced and well-armed androids whose prime directives would be to carry out our direct commands. There would be no need to use Prozium as a method of control. Project Genesis was created with several prototypes ready for active service. The initial stages of the project were a complete success, with the new Android Grammaton Units (AGU) carry out orders with lethal efficiency. In addition to the increased level of control, the AGU’s had an incredible invulnerability to normal gunfire. The need for these new units arose after the first assassination attempt on the original Father demonstrated unforgivable gaps in the effectiveness of our most Elite Cleric units against the guiles of the Resistance.” Ducard explained, with a hint of excitement in his voice.
“What happened, then? If the AGU’s were carrying out their orders and we had the Resistance pinned down, why are they currently not commissioned? Why did we have to revert back to the Cleric Corp.?” Vice-Council Drake, who up until now had been patiently listening to Ducard’s message, had inquired.
“Well, the AGU’s had slight programming malfunctions when it came to having the proper security countermeasures against Resistance hacker attacks on the internal prime directives of the CPU’s. The Resistance was able to hack into the master control of the AGU’s and activate the self-destruct mechanisms during a critical strike on one of our Sweeper Armories. Despite the advances we had made, Father decided to cancel the funding needed to continue and perfect the project. The minimal collateral damage that resulted compelled the original Father to make a foolish decision, which led to his untimely demise when his personal Cleric security betrayed him. Back then, Father and the first Council had shown the Cleric Corp. too much leniency by allowing the Clerics to retain emotions, thereby opening themselves up to multiple security breaches and leading to Father’s assassination…” Ducard answered Drake’s questions.
“Minimal collateral damage?! Your incompetence destroyed three whole Sweeper squadrons, the entire West-Side Sweeper Armory, and nearly two city blocks were completely ANNIHILATED! You’re little project nearly brought down the entire Librian infrastructure! Not to mention that there are rumors that the Resistance was able to steal key design schematics of the AGU’s. Fellow Council members, close your ears to this garbage!” Mason argued back.
“Mason, sit down and shut up. Ducard, if the project was scrapped, then how would Genesis be of any help to us now?” Vice-Council Brahm, who up until now was listening in decided to speak.
“The chief engineer overlooking the program, Dr. Teager, survived the aftermath and is currently researching radical new designs for new AGU’s that are awaiting a full commission by the Council. The new designs will include a new chip interface that will allow the AGU’s to evolve in their neuroprocessing functions, thereby removing the risk of the self-destruct mechanism being inadvertently activated by the Resistance. The new AGU’s would be a lot more autonomous than their failed counterparts, thereby requiring less dependency on a central command signal. The prime directives in the internal programming of the new AGU’s are hard-coded to protect the units from Resistance hacker attacks. Therefore, they will be more of a challenge for the Resistance, and they will carry out our commands with exceedingly lethal efficiency. The longer they fight a particular opponent, the quicker they are able to learn and adapt to different strategies. The rate of evolution in their algorithms is astounding and goes well beyond even the peak abilities of our First Class Clerics.
Fellow Council members, the Resistance knows our every countermeasure. They have access to most of the designs and strategies that are out our disposal. Our current resources are inadequate to deal with the current threat. With Genesis, we will have an undeniable advantage. Within a week’s end, we will have regained control over the entire city and within a month’s end the Resistance will meet its END!” Ducard concluded with supreme confidence.
“That’s a pretty bold statement, Ducard. What assurances do we truly have that this time Genesis won’t fire back in our faces? We can’t afford any failures. The Resistance has already gained too much ground and our effective resources have been cut in half. How soon can we expect to see the AGU’s in full service?” Vice-Council Stryker, asked with disbelief and resignation.
“Neo-AGU’s, the upgraded AGU models, can be deployed within a week’s end. Dr. Teager needs to run some last minute diagnostic checks and to make sure that the units are properly armed and ready for action. The new models do not need any external firearms as they are already built into the designs. “ Ducard said.
“Well, Council members, we have two options available to us. Continue the present course and send all available Clerics, including those in the Cleric Reserve Corp. to the front lines and regain control of Libria through incremental acquisition, or give the final approvals for re-activating Project Genesis and sending out the first wave of Neo-AGU’s to break the enemy’s position and to take the fighting to the Nethers rather than in the city streets. What is your decision?” Walters asked with finality.
“I think a fresh approach to this problem is what we need now. I agree with Ducard, Project Genesis is the path we need to take now.” Vice-Council Brahm answered.
“I agree with Brahm, Ducard’s idea is sound and the reliance on the Cleric Corp. is an obvious exposed weakness we need to address immediately if we are to take serious steps to regain control, let alone defeat the Resistance.” Vice-Council Richards pitched in his vote.
“Well, I hope that this doesn’t come back to bite us in the ass. I vote to go with Project Genesis. Ducard, you had better be sure about this.” Vice-Council Stryker voted, with hesistation.
“Well, obviously, I vote for the motion to use Genesis. It is the only reasonable option that we have.” Ducard said with absolute confidence.
“This is completely absurd. I will not condone the Council making the same mistake twice. These mechanical monstrosities you call 'Neo-AGU’s' are going to end up costing us the entire war. Your personal thirst for conquest will end up annihilating us. I object to the motion and move to the immediate deployment of our Cleric Reserve Corp. to the frontlines and to make a strong offensive against the Resistance. We should focus on conserving the original Prozium reserves for the Cleric Corp. and releasing the new Prozium supplies to the rest of the citizens and Sweeper Squads.” Mason firmly objected.
“My thoughts, exactly, Mason. This program doesn’t strike me as a sound countermeasure to the Resistance and there are too many liabilities associated with relying on such a project. The Cleric Reserve Corp. is our only true option.” Vice-Council Drake agreed with Mason.
“Well, it seems as though the Council has decided. I, too, am in favor on this new approach. The motion to utilize Project Genesis and activate the Neo-AGU’s is granted. Ducard, you have full approval and authority to use whatever resources we have at your disposal to send in the Neo-AGU’s. As such, you are now the Grand Council and in full command of Father’s powers, with final approval still left in the hands of the Council. Your first task will be to take over the role of Father and reassure Libria that Father is still alive. Ducard, we are placing our trust on you and this new program, don’t make us regret it. Council is dismissed.” Vice-Council Walters called the meeting to a close.
“Ducard, I hope that for all our sakes, you are right about this. Somehow I doubt this will end well. I will be watching your every move.” Mason said with disbelief and suspicion.
“We tried it your way and it failed miserably with Preston completely destroying the Palace of Justice and freeing the Resistance leaders. Perhaps if you had not been such arrogant and ignorant traditionalists, you would not have allowed the Tetragrammaton to gain so much access and control over all our resources or for a rogue Cleric to infiltrate our security so deeply. Your faith in Dupont was ill-placed. At least the Council was not willing to make the same mistake twice.” Ducard argued back.
“We’ll see about that…” Mason said as he left the Council chambers.
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Post by Mirabilis on Jun 9, 2009 11:44:22 GMT -5
Excellent! Good fight sequences and very good interaction between the council members. Well done!
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Post by crimsoncleric on Jun 10, 2009 7:26:31 GMT -5
Thank you, there is more to come. I was not sure how people would receive it. This is my first fanfiction so I wasn't sure how it measured up to the other fanfictions. I was afraid a storyline whose plot centered around the Council using Android Clerics. I figure, the Librian government had managed to destroy all human emotion in the city, the use of Android Clerics would just be the final step in completely eradicating all humanity from the city. Let me know what you think.
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Post by clericjay on Jun 10, 2009 12:32:15 GMT -5
Well, I'm not a fan of the "androids in Libria"-idea, but let's see, what you're doing with it. ;D I agree with Mira, I really liked the interaction between the Council-members, though they use a lot of "sense-offender" language. But they and Dupont are all the same, aren't they? You seem to be into military technique and tactics, or you like strategic games very much. I like it so far and I'm sure that there's much going to happen.
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Post by Aedh on Jun 10, 2009 22:09:08 GMT -5
A good first entry! You have obviously put a lot of thought into this. I have to say I'm interested in the androids idea as I'm writing a fic ("Nonstop Murder & Lust!") based around an--well, not an android, nor a cyborg, but what I call a humod. An android is all machine. A cyborg is part machine and part organic creature. A humod is all organic creature but modified from its original organic structure. Actually my humod does have a few bits of machine built in, so you could say it's technically a cyborg.
I picture your android Clerics--for no reason at all other than sheer insanity--as being somewhat like the charas named 17 and 18, in the Dragonball Z saga.
I also like it that you are trying to be somewhat visual. You're doing more than just, "Preston killed one guard, then he turned and killed two more" stuff, but making an effort to SHOW us.
As far as "measuring up" to other fics goes, don't worry. We are all different talents, different ages, and differently-gifted. Here we tend to look at each one on its own merits. Write and enjoy and we will read and enjoy.
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Post by Libby on Jun 11, 2009 6:04:16 GMT -5
It's always a tense moment when you bare your literary soul for the first time...
Like Aedh, I think this has begun well...lots of action and interaction. Jurgen's 'voice' was authentic (I always feel he's too intense...never able to chill out!)You have an interesting take on the Clerics, too.
I'm keen to see how the Android theme pans out...it's a brave step.
Well done!
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Post by crimsoncleric on Jun 11, 2009 19:13:38 GMT -5
Thank you all for your kind comments and words of encouragement. It is always warming and welcoming to get positive feedback from readers. I am going to have to try hard not to make the android aspect of the story really cheesy. I wanted to ask myself and the readers: how far was the Council and the entire Librian power structure going to go to eradicate humanity? Would they replace their most elite enforcement members with cold, hard, calculating machines? Ultimately, what is the measure of humanity..is it emotions, or is it more?Those are the questions I am trying to inspire the reader to ask as they are going along reading this. I hope that if you have any constructive criticisms, please let me know. It would be pretty awesome to see if this can actually inspire a script for an Equilibrium sequel. That would be pretty nice. It would get a lot more attention if they get Christian Bale to re-star as ex-Cleric John Preston.
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Post by Aedh on Oct 14, 2009 1:08:17 GMT -5
Let's have some more CC!
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Post by crimsoncleric on Feb 14, 2010 18:57:04 GMT -5
Hey guys, I know that it has been a really, really long time since I have posted new chapters of my fanfic. I was in kind of a funk or a writer's block, but I am BACK WITH A VENGEANCE! What will follow are 3 NEW CHAPTERS! What follows is the 3rd chapter, where we get to see the first glimpses of Project Genesis, a bold but grim new approach to regaining order in Libria! Enjoy, and as always, constructive criticism is always welcome! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ A New Era is Ushered In The Council meeting had gone according to plan. Ducard had finally succeeded after so many years of waiting and planning. He was finally going to see his ambitions come to fruition as the new Father and with a new set of Clerics completely subservient to his will. Project Genesis will NOT fail. Above all, that one thought had pervaded Ducard’s mind on his way back to the Advanced Robotics lab under the Equilibrium building. The first step was to make sure that a sense of order was restored to Libria as the current state of chaos will have put a severe bottleneck in key city functions, not to mention a general state of confusion amongst the masses. Librians were not used to individual thought. As far as they knew, they existed solely for the continuity of the “great society” that was Libria. That is EXACTLY how it would remain, as long as Ducard was in control. The original Father had been too lenient and forgiving when it came to those who he trusted with the highest level of security and enforcement duties. Dupont, was too overconfident in his control over the Clerics and he completely underestimated the impact even the slightest modicum of chaos could have on his entire power structure. The Clerics were and still continue to be too volatile of an asset to trust with the complete security of Libria, not to mention the personal security of Father and the rest of the Council members. That will all change soon enough. Ducard’s train of thought was interrupted as he came upon a secured door requiring the correct access code and protected with a secondary biometric access-denial system. If anything was learned from the last time that Genesis was activated, it was that much tighter security had to be installed surrounding the project. Ducard quickly entered in the access code and was abruptly greeted by his second-in-command, Darien. “So, how did it go?” Darien questioned without hesitance. “Not that you should be concerned, but the meeting went according to plan. Better yet, I have now full discretion concerning all powers and duties of Father. The Council has released the last set of locks on Genesis. We are fully authorized to use all necessary force to regain Libria and put an end to the Resistance once and for all. Are the prototypes ready?” Ducard asked. “The prototypes are fully armed and programmed. I have added additional internal security parameters to core CPU’s of the androids. They are fully prepared and are ready for active duty. Prior to complete activation, you need to review and confirm the prime directives as you have the last set of controls before they are autonomous in their primary functions. However, they haven’t been fully field tested yet,” an elderly man with thick-rimmed glasses answered confidently. “Dr. Teager, you have served Libria well. How many units are currently ready for full activation?” Ducard inquired. “Currently we have seven units ready and armed. The rest of them require me to reequip the androids primary weapon systems as well as to make sure that their security protocols are properly updated. You may proceed with the seven AGU’s at your behest, sir.” Dr. Teager replied. “Very well then, take me to the AGU’s.” Ducard commanded. Ducard and Darien were led to the final assembly section of the robotics lab. As they walked through the maze of robotic arms and microchip assembly lines, they couldn’t help but be impressed at how far Genesis had progressed. Finally they came upon the coup de grâce of the research: the AGU’s. Apart from an exposed circuit mainframe on the back of the neck, not a soul in Libria would be able to tell the difference between the AGU’s and the Grammaton Clerics. The difference would be in the incomparable combat abilities the AGU’s had at their disposal. Ducard walked up to the seven seemingly mindless figures standing upright. Ducard carefully inspected all of the features of the AGU’s. From the dark and soul-less eyes, to the fists ready to go to any lengths to re-establish order, the AGU’s were cold heartless sentinels, though one wouldn’t be able to distinguish them from the Tetragrammaton, perfect for enemy infiltration missions. Since Dr. Teager was still running diagnostic scans, the AGU’s were deactivated. Curiously enough, each of the seven units looked surprisingly similar to deceased First Class Clerics, to better facilitate the transition. “Let’s run a targeting check to make sure that they are fully operational.” Ducard commanded Teager. “Right away,” Teager answered back. Teager released the diagnostic cables hooked up to the back of the necks of the AGU’s. This was the primary chip interface used to access the prime directives as well as issue commands. When the command was given to start-up, the AGU’s lifted their heads with pupils fully dilated and ready for combat. “Agent 874, list your prime directives” Teager ordered the leader of the android team. “Directive 1 – All Resistance forces are to be immediately destroyed. Directive 2 – All orders from the Council are to be executed immediately. Directive 3 – All executive orders from Father, Ducard, have highest priority and supersede orders from the Council. Directive 4 – DIAGNOSTIC CHECK – FURTHER INFORMATION UNAVAILABLE,” the cold sentinel responded back. “Directive 4? Teager, I thought we had an understanding that the programming of these new units was to remain explicitly selective and under my discretion. What exactly does Directive 4 entail?” Ducard suspiciously inquired from Dr. Teager. “As you may recall, one of the primary improvements in this new batch of AGU’s is the advanced neuro-programming that would allow them to adapt and learn from their enemies and executing particular missions. Therefore, it was a necessary protocol to enter in a last directive to make sure that the AGU’s would be making constant use of this new feature. Else, we would end up making the same mistake as last time.” Dr. Teager explained. “Hmm, very well. You may proceed with the targeting check when ready.” Ducard said. “Agent 874, fire at those targets. All targets must be completely destroyed. Time limit is 20 seconds. Begin on my mark…NOW” Dr. Teager commanded Agent 874. “Roger,” Agent 874 coldly responded back. The android’s forearms protruded forward and transformed into a mini-gattling gun being fed with armor-piercing ammunition from inside the android. The androids advanced architecture made it ideal to conceal large amounts of ammunition in its inner chassis. The robotic pupils contracted and honed in on the target gallery, specifically on the bulls-eyes. The inside of the android’s eyes showed an HUD (heads-up display) which had diagnostic information, power level, angle of attack of proposed firing positions, as well as ammunition capacity and a targeting cross-hair function. Within less than two seconds, the android began firing without moving an inch from its position while its forearm/gattling gun began pumping the targets with heavy ammunition. The recoil of the weapon had no effect on the android’s accuracy or its position. After ten seconds had elapsed, the android stopped firing. As the gun barrel stopped rotating and cooled down, android was quickly able to transfigure the gun back into the shape of human hand. “Target has been completely destroyed. Attack duration: 10.00 seconds.” Agent 874 responded. Darien and Teager’s eyes were glowing with awe and pride as they looked upon the area where the bulls-eye target had once stood. Ducard’s gaze hardly moved from the android during the training session. “Most impressive, Dr. Teager.” Darien commented. “Thank you, Darien. These units will definitely get the job done.” Dr. Teager proudly claimed. “Hmm, interesting. However, our enemy will hardly be a stationary piece of rubber on the wall waiting to be riddled with lead. One test still remains…a full field test. The real measure of the ability of these units will be in full deployment against the enemy. Get the rest of the units prepped and ready for combat. I will take these seven. I have a special mission in mind. Darien, you are to oversee the operation here. Understood?” Ducard commanded. “Yes sir.” Darien responded back. “They will be ready within the week’s end, sir. If you have any special instructions for the seven that you are taking, they will incorporate the instructions into their core programming.” Dr. Teager replied. “Agents 874, 875, 876, 877, 878, 879, and 880 follow me.” Ducard commanded the seven activated androids. “Roger” the seven responded back in unison and followed Ducard back to Ducard’s underground bunker. As Ducard was walking down the narrow corridor to his control room, he was pondering in what fashion will he deploy his new “toys.” The primary concern on his mind was whether or not the distribution of the Prozium supplies would remain secure under the control of the Clerics. The decision had to be made whether or not he could divert some of the AGU’s in taking over the operation of securing the original Prozium while setting up an ambush for some of the key Resistance leadership that is leading the vanguard forces in the primary invasion in Libria. He also couldn’t afford more Clerics going rogue, though he had a special plan in mind for them. Whatever the case would be, failure was NOT an option. He still had the watchful eyes of the Council, especially that senile old bag, Mason to contend with. Soon enough, he will have things set in the right place to deal with the Resistance, the Council, and those damn Clerics.
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Post by crimsoncleric on Feb 14, 2010 19:21:43 GMT -5
That's right, here's another chapter, coming right you! This one, I particularly loved writing as it was more of a strategic discussion between Preston and Captain Black. As you can tell, a lot of this discussion was inspired by some of the writings by Tom Clancy, especially after reading Sum of All Fears. Enjoy. I love to hear back from my readers! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Counterattack Begins Explosions and random gunfire became a symphony of life around Libria. Normally, it is usually the Nethers that are bustling with such activity. The Council and the rest of Libria was suffering from the consequence of seriously underestimating the true strength of the Resistance as well as how much damage one First Class Cleric could to such a heavily fortified juggernaut. While Black and Preston were securing the perimeter as Jurgen and the Resistance leaders made their way to the heart of the Nethers, Preston couldn’t help but ponder what would be the Council’s next move? With Dupont’s demise, someone would have to swiftly move in to fill in the power vacuum. To maintain control, they would have to quickly re-establish Father’s public image. The only man, other than Dupont, who would be able to turn the tides of war, would be Ducard. Preston, personally, didn’t know Ducard, but knew about him. Ducard was a far more dangerous adversary than Dupont. If Preston had had to deal with Ducard when facing his original mission of infiltrating and assassinating Father, Ducard wouldn’t have hesitated in completely destroying Preston and his children as well. Ducard would never take the risk of leaving loose ends behind. Some of the deadliest weapons in the Sweeper and Cleric arsenal were developed under Ducard’s direct supervision. “What’s wrong, Preston? We’re nearly back home. Librian forces are scarce in these areas since we took the fighting to the city streets.” Black said. “It’s nothing. It’s just an odd feeling. You don’t think it’s strange that we have gotten back to the Nethers so easily?” Preston inquired. “Easy?! You call that last Sweeper squadron fight easy?! And I suppose that little explosion back at the Palace of Justice was just another walk in the park for you?” Black asked. “You don’t find it the least bit odd that we haven’t encountered more resistance from the Cleric Corp.? The usual back-up protocol for situations like these is to enlist the Cleric Reserve Corp. and immediately deploy them in the middle of the more severe hotspots. Yet, all we faced were a few Sweeper Squadrons. They’re up to something. I still have to make sure that Lisa and Kyle are both safe. By now, the Council probably would have placed the Cleric Monastery under Red Alert. No one in and no one out. I need to get both of them out of the city. The Council is willing to go to any extent to regain control, including using innocent Librians as leverage.” Preston explained. “Well, we’re back to HQ. If you need to, I can have some of the men re-supply and re-arm within several hours and we could be on our way back to the city to extract your children out of the Monastery.” Black offered Preston. “No, I have to do this alone. Besides, Jurgen needs you here to secure the perimeter while the Resistance leadership makes plans for deeper incursions into the city. You still have the comlink that I gave you before freeing Jurgen?” asked Preston. “Yes, sir. You sure you don’t need back-up? If what you are saying is true, it will be twice as hard to get back to the Monastery. The enemy barricades are too tough of a defense to penetrate through by just one man. Let’s take some of the heavy infantry squads and hit the eastern sector with everything we have. While their forces are distracted on the eastern sector, we can take a second expeditionary force and hit up the Monastery when their defenses have been weakened.” “That’s exactly why I need to go at this alone. They will be expecting you to hit them hard in the eastern sector. After so many raid missions in the Nethers, they have adapted quite well to your strategies. They won’t expect a single man to infiltrate their defenses so deeply.” Preston replied. “True, but you’re a wanted fugitive. Everyone in Libria will soon know about what you did and by now they probably would have made capturing you as high a priority as getting rid of Jurgen and the rest of us. What if they have set up countermeasures to all the back-doors and secret entries that you are aware of? You don’t think that they will have taken you into account, when putting together a counter-strategy?” Black asked. “That’s a risk that I am willing to take. Besides, there is something else that I need to check up on and I will need to make a trip to the City Archives. It will be easier for one man to move around than a team of insurgents trying to avoid detection.” Preston concluded. “Fair enough. What do you need from us?” Black resigned. “Well, I could use something with a little more punch than this AK-47. I would have to empty nearly an entire clip to take down just one HSI unit let alone any Kevlar-armored Clerics.” Preston asked for heavier arms. “Take this M-6 assault rifle. Here are some extra clips with armor-piercing rounds, equipped with titanium tips. Good luck, sir.” Black bid Preston farewell. “Thanks, Black. If there are any updates from Jurgen, let me know immediately. Keep the link on Channel 57, they don’t use that line at all.” Preston finished packing, taking along with him the assault rifle and extra clips for his twin Berettas (a Gunslinger’s weapon of choice). He still couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something amiss and that the worst was yet to come. Besides the Monastery, it was imperative that he find a way to access the City Archives. Whatever the Council was planning, John was sure that the City Archives would hold a clue as to what was going on.
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Post by Mirabilis on Feb 16, 2010 20:01:42 GMT -5
This is very good! Well done!
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Post by clericjay on Feb 18, 2010 2:23:43 GMT -5
We're going to read a hard fight very soon... I'm looking forward to it, though I'm not a big fan of the battle-android in Libria idea, but I'm sure that you'll create it very interesting as you did it so far. ;D
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