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Post by Aedh on May 1, 2008 17:19:42 GMT -5
Alright, it's time for a new creative thread here, for those who don't feel up to writing novellas. This one calls for little ditties, modelled on the old "Burma Shave" jingles popular in America in the 1920s and '30s. Those were written according to a simple haiku-esque scheme; five lines, with lines two, four, and five being three syllables, and the others being four (or maybe five if you squeeze it in smartly). Lines two and four rhyme. Seventeen syllables, with the last three taken care of for you ... the name of the product. Here's a sample Burma Shave poem: She kissed the hairbrush by mistake; She thought it was her husband Jake-- Burma Shave!So now, I'll provide the first complete Prozium Poetry Slam jingle as an example. Naturally, the "product" in this one is Prozium, so it will end with that instead of 'Burma Shave.' Thus: Cleric Preston missed his dose, then sliced Brandt's head in manner gross-- Prozium!Pretty crappy I know--I'm an Evil Genius, not a poet. There's got to be someone out there who can do better ... isn't there? Terrified of the idea of having to rhyme? Fear not .. old Uncle Aedh's got your back. Here's a good online tool to help: www.rhymer.com/ YOu can post your own complete jingle. Or, if you get a good start to one in your head, but can't come up with a way to finish it, you can post your start, and I'm sure some wise, proficient, and puckish Cleric will be happy to supply an ending.
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Post by Aedh on May 1, 2008 21:37:22 GMT -5
Here's a rather better one ...
Father knows what's best for you; So don't neglect your P-I-U!! --Prozium!
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Post by Aedh on May 2, 2008 7:28:09 GMT -5
All those rated EC-10 Will never live to feel again! -- Prozium! Excellent! Leave it to Father to lead the way!
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Post by Aedh on May 2, 2008 10:46:43 GMT -5
Feeling happy, mad or blue? Careful! Father's watching you! Prozium!
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Post by Aedh on May 2, 2008 13:25:48 GMT -5
Woes and troubles you'll forget, when you take the best cure yet-- Prozium!!
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Post by Aedh on May 2, 2008 22:47:10 GMT -5
This one has a title: "The Overdue Interval!" Thank you.
*ahem*Preston's gloves so smooth and black ... Remind me of--um-- what I lack-- Prozium!! *doses self quickly ... looks around nervously to see if anyone noticed ... doses again just to be sure*
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Post by clericjay on May 3, 2008 4:14:40 GMT -5
Nice! Maybe I'll find a rhyme too...
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Post by Aedh on May 3, 2008 12:53:23 GMT -5
Nice! Maybe I'll find a rhyme too... Go on Cleric ... you're a writer, right? Write! So what if it seems crappy? No one here's gonna do anything but read with approval for your effort. Have you read Shakespeare's earliest plays? Titus Andronicus was downright naff! Doggerel, rhymes, and ditties too! No one here will force-feed you Prozium! [However, voluntary participation is strongly encouraged ... ]
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Post by clericjay on May 4, 2008 10:54:26 GMT -5
Okay... Ahem... My try: Stay to be one of those, Who hear the righteous call, Take your daily dose, The solution for us all, Prozium
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Post by Aedh on May 5, 2008 10:44:33 GMT -5
Okay... Ahem... My try: Stay to be one of those, Who hear the righteous call, Take your daily dose, The solution for us all, Prozium Well done, young-Cleric-me-lad! Pesky neighbours' music loud, How I long to dose that crowd! Prozium!
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Post by clericjay on May 5, 2008 12:34:35 GMT -5
Let the dose drain all your sorrow, all your pain! Feel nothing tomorrow! Prozium!
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Post by Aedh on May 6, 2008 10:02:39 GMT -5
It's my birthday-- what a trip! So for one day I'll just skip-- Prozium!! Don't tell Father though!
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Post by Aedh on May 7, 2008 17:12:43 GMT -5
Shot was Partridge 'tween the eyes; Should a' come as no surprise-- Prozium!
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Post by Aedh on May 7, 2008 21:23:35 GMT -5
Now that last one again, translated into Swedish Chef ...
Schottska oos Pooor-taridgea herger toor ryzse; Shoooda wurda gnaega, Bork Bork Bork! Yah sure, yu betcha!
*commences Frying-Pan Kata*
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Post by Aedh on May 9, 2008 13:25:56 GMT -5
One day left 'til Mira's here! Useless is my dose of mere Prozium!!
*adds a double slug of Tomatin Single Malt to fortify the nerves*
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Post by Aedh on May 10, 2008 0:03:57 GMT -5
To be read aloud:
Mary airy sister was, Picked and nicked and burnt to fuzz! Prozium!
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Post by Aedh on May 25, 2008 10:31:47 GMT -5
Evil Jeen and Dad allied; Terror-stricken S.O.'s cried: "Prozium!"
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Post by Aedh on Jun 5, 2008 11:21:09 GMT -5
Rainy days so soft and sweet; Pitter-patter-- I don't need Prozium!
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Post by Father on Jun 7, 2008 4:44:03 GMT -5
Not sure if I understood how it works but i'll give it a try...
What is this ideal they call love? No one must reveal what it's made of! Prozium!
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Post by Aedh on Jun 9, 2008 8:43:14 GMT -5
Not sure if I understood how it works but i'll give it a try...What is this ideal they call love? No one must reveal what it's made of! Prozium! Thanks! Very good! ;D Now--as every evil authority figure ought to be able to rely on efficient minions--allow me two very slight suggestions so that the rhythm flows a little better in English ... What's this ideal they call love? None must reveal what it's made of! Prozium! Though the second "what" really belongs to the third line for purposes of metre for speaking, written on the page it only looks natural as part of the fourth line. But that happens a lot in poetry. Sorry ... Mira will witness that I'm obessed with perfection when it comes to writing. That's why Homer, Dante, and Shakespeare are my favourite authors, and why I troll my own posts looking for typos. Later ... Wouldn't you know that Mrs Evil Genius--the EG's guarantrix of perfection--caught a typo in the above!! ;D You gotta be on your toes around here!
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Post by Father on Jun 10, 2008 7:09:40 GMT -5
Not sure if I understood how it works but i'll give it a try...What is this ideal they call love? No one must reveal what it's made of! Prozium! Thanks! Very good! ;D Now--as every evil authority figure ought to be able to rely on efficient minions--allow me two very slight suggestions so that the rhythm flows a little better in English ... What's this ideal they call love? None must reveal what it's made of! Prozium! Though the second "what" really belongs to the third line for purposes of metre for speaking, written on the page it only looks natural as part of the fourth line. But that happens a lot in poetry. Sorry ... Mira will witness that I'm obessed with perfection when it comes to writing. That's why Homer, Dante, and Shakespeare are my favourite authors, and why I troll my own posts looking for typos. Later ... Wouldn't you know that Mrs Evil Genius--the EG's guarantrix of perfection--caught a typo in the above!! ;D You gotta be on your toes around here! Thanks Aedh, it does indeed flow better.
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Post by Aedh on Jun 10, 2008 7:31:01 GMT -5
You're welcome ... now, in honour of Belgium--or half of it, anyway:
Citoyens! Nous avisons-- Ici, defense d'emotions! Prozium!
Sorry ... I don't have suitable accent marks available on my keyboard ...
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Prestan
Vice Council in Charge of Flames and Summary Combustions
Not Without Innocence
Posts: 128
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Post by Prestan on Jun 17, 2008 1:51:24 GMT -5
So ends the fight By blood he spilled For death in white Cannot be killed Preston!
...needs work me'thinks.
Those who yield Make all the same Those who feel Send to the flame Tetragrammaton!
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Post by clericjay on Jun 24, 2008 11:09:56 GMT -5
Today in my German lesson I wrote this piece of poetry: First the German version: Nun bereuh' ich mein Fehl' Mein Aug' schaut Silberschein Kalt ist der Mündung Sein Hart der metall'ne Kuss Gun-KataAnd now the English one: Regret my last mistake My eyes watch silver shine Cold is the muzzles touch Hard is the metals kiss Gun KataI think I'll work on it and make some more stanzas, because I like it. I hope you'll like it too.
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Post by marphlets on Jul 9, 2008 0:27:08 GMT -5
Robbie and Lisa - Both so young - Ceased their dosing All for Mum. Prozium!
At least I think that's right.
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Prestan
Vice Council in Charge of Flames and Summary Combustions
Not Without Innocence
Posts: 128
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Post by Prestan on Jul 9, 2008 15:47:44 GMT -5
Robbie and Lisa - Both so young - Ceased their dosing All for Mum. Prozium! At least I think that's right. hey thats pretty good!
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Post by Aedh on Jul 9, 2008 17:46:04 GMT -5
Robbie and Lisa - Both so young - Ceased their dosing All for Mum. Prozium! At least I think that's right. Outstanding Cleric marphlets! HOD, like witches' stake, Looms for those who will not take Prozium!
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Post by marphlets on Jul 11, 2008 6:49:07 GMT -5
Thanks! Holding vials It's his job - What you're thinking. Good ole Rob. Prozium
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Post by Greyflower on Jul 12, 2008 14:02:27 GMT -5
I like driving druggists mad asking them where I can get
Prosium!
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Post by Aedh on Jul 15, 2008 23:28:34 GMT -5
I like driving druggists mad asking them where I can get Prosium! Excellent! Presidential season's here-- but I can smile, never fear! Prozium! ;D
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