|
Post by clericjay on Nov 15, 2007 13:06:47 GMT -5
Welcome to my first fan fiction story! ;D This is the first story I'm doing in English and hopefully I won't make to many mistakes. (I would be very thankful if you could tell me, if I would do some language mistakes, you can't except. Probably via PM would be better.)I'm very excited about this. I've already done some stories in German, but this will be a premier for me. And now I dare to write about a very important figure of the world of Equilibrium, you all know him. I know this isn't a easy task, but I wanted to write something about this person, we know less then every other main character of the movie, though he is one of the most important ones. If I look back in history I always care about the beginnings of important progresses. And I recognised that huge and important events had some little reasons, which partly look unimportant at first sight. In the following story I tried to do the same with Libria and the origin of it: Father. This is only my suggestion of how Libria was born and an attempt to reconstruct his thoughts and the situations forcing him to install a system like Libria. Of course I can't guarantee that it will fit into Mr. Wimmers vision, but it's just a possible suggestion. But I'm giving Father a name: Arthur McGee. I hope that every reader can except that, if not, you should ignore this name and fill in your personal name of Father. I'll start the story at the end. But after a few lines he starts to remember how the whole story began back then, at the end of the Third World War. This flashback will be the main story line I will be following through the next chapters. At the end of the first chapter I tried to imagine, what a person, able to use Gun-Kata is thinking while fighting. I hope you will like this idea and way to express a fighting scene. The story isn't even finished completely in my mind, so I will write it chapter after chapter, from time to time. If the next chapter is finished, I will post it here. I hope you can wait until the next one is finished, because I haven't got that much time to write all the time. If anyone has a good idea worth to involve it in my story, I would be very thankful, if you would tell me, possibly via PM. If it would match into my concept I would be able to use it, if you allow it of course. ;D I hope you will enjoy reading my story and I would be very thankful, if you would post your opinion and suggestions about it. ;D Okay, it is enough of explanations now. Let's start with: Memories of Father
[/b][/size]
|
|
|
Post by Aedh on Nov 15, 2007 13:20:12 GMT -5
Excellent. Carry on Cleric ... and uphold the methods Father established. Don't forget to crisp a few Sense-Offenders along the way.
|
|
|
Post by clericjay on Nov 15, 2007 13:55:41 GMT -5
Memories of Father
by ClericJay
Chapter one: With the gun in his hand!
He never thought that he would ever lay a gun on the head of his best friend. But that's exactly what he is doing right now. It doesn't matter, because he doesn't feels anything any more. The daily dose of Prozium benumbed every feeling anyway and this makes friendship only a theoretical thing, belonging to the past of humankind. These days the people have a better opportunity, the opportunity he gave them, the opportunity for everlasting peace, the opportunity he gave them, the opportunity called Libria and it was worth every sacrifice, even worth loosing every feeling. The man holding the gun is Arthur McGee, but there is nobody calling him that way any more, except this man belonging to his past. Today he is known as the Father. He is the head of Libria, the bright metropolis, the future of mankind. He was the one, who decided that every human should swallow his feelings by taking Prozium regularly, because feelings where the original reason for every war in the history of mankind. Only without feelings the peace reigns in the heart of mankind. It was his appreciation and he was responsible for the realization of these plans. But there are still some people without this necessary appreciation, who are able to disturb the peace the Librians are joining. This Resistance was a serious danger he can't tolerate, ever. Nobody would steal his dream of everlasting peace, nobody will ever be able to tread on his dreams. But now someone wants to and he is close to stop him, to kill him. And it isn't only a sense offender, it isn't only a resistance member, it is a member of Tertragrammaton, the undestroyable, absolutely loyal guard of his idea, of his dream. No, it isn't even only a cleric, it is his best friend, the only person he would have trusted until dead some years ago. But today he tries to kill him, him and his metropolis, him and his ideas, him and his dream. He dares to impose on him, the one and only Father. But now he holds the gun. He points it at the head of the traitor. He lays his finger on the trigger. And he is the one asking himself the question, why his best friend, the one he had trusted most, why he treads on his dream. And now he starts to remember how this all began. How everything happened, how Libria was born from ruins, from his mind, from his hands...
Everything started in the Third World War, who over topped all the other ones before. The humankind was near to his extinction. The old civilisation was already destroyed by the nuclear weaponry of the old nations, who didn't existed any more in fact. Nearly every town of the world was destroyed. The continents didn't looked the same any more. The whole world consisted of ruins and dust. All the surviving people lived in huge bunkers. The nations and states collapsed completely, nuclear bombs can't be used any more cause of rocket destroying systems, who stopped every nuclear attack. Only a few people still remembered why this war was fought. The army corps, who are still alive were wandering around like a swarm of locusts, killing every enemy troops or civilises they could find. If a corps explored one of the bunkers still working, they attacked it and killed everyone, who was still alive. If they were soldiers or civilises didn't mattered to them. The civilisation consisted of these bunkers, who fought each other. Some alliances were still kept up, but live was anarchic outside of these bunkers. They were called the Nethers. The bunkers worked for technical methods to reduce the toxic waste the air was filled with. Most of them were successful, so it became possible to go outside without a special suit and to breath cleaned air. But most of the food still grew in conservatories. Living in this cold and brutal world Arthur McGee lived and hunted enemy soldiers in the name of a bunker, who was called TX-13. This one was situated on the East Cost of Northern America. But Arthur was someone special. He was worth 2000 normal soldiers. He was a very important weapon. Infantry was important in every case in this phase of the war, because interrupting signal send by the bunkers disturbed the functions of robots and made automatic machines not working. They became more and more unimportant, because they didn't worked any more. But humans still worked and now soldiers made of flesh and blood were used for fight in general. And good soldiers were the guarantee for survival, if there was any guarantee. But Arthur McGee was much more important than all the others. The reasons for that was his ability to use the so called Gun-Kata. Only a few soldiers were able to use this new fighting style. It wasn't half as good as today known Gun-Kata used by the clerics of Libria, but it was developed during the Third World War and it was a young martial art using two guns, one in every hand of the fighter. It was very effective. And everyone feared the confrontation with someone like Arthur.
Now he was standing at the top of a grey, old rover, who was rolling and jumping through the prairie of Central Northern America, were the land was flat and empty, pulling a cloud of dust. They were searching for a trail of enemy soldiers. The driver screamed “I think we've got 'em!” up to Arthur. He took a deep breath. He tried to remember the world without the war. His memory laid under a grey gauze, but he missed the old world. He missed the peace. This was the only feeling still remained strong. But his emotions were jaded. Only some rest of them still remained. He wasn't a proficient soldier, he had only a few experiences, though he was a good fighter, because he was able to use the Gun-Kata. He looked up to the moon, who was clear and full. His beautiful blue light shined over them and hit his eyes. He closed them and swallowed his feelings. He had to stay clear and concentrated. Too strong motions would have been disturbing. He concentrated himself deeply, enjoyed the silence before the storm begins. He loaded his guns. The ammunition he hide on his suit would have been enough to kill approximately 200 people. “They're right behind the next hill! I'll stay on the rock over there! Is that okay?” The driver screamed out loud and pointed his finger to a nearby rock at the outer rim of a small valley. Arthur nodded shortly and pulled his helmet over his head, who looked like a black classical motorbike helmet. He wore a tight black suit with some belts the ammo was installed on. He stood up on the rovers roof and made himself ready to jump with the guns in his hands. The rover stopped at the top of the rock. Using the drive Arthur jumped high into the blue night. Under him some enemy soldiers were pretty surprised, some of them didn't recognised him at first. He counted 42 living man, but this won't last for long. He shot the first before he even reached the ground. His thoughts were running through his mind while he shot one after another during running around and avoiding enemy fire, thinking: “Got him... I must be fast... 2 on the left side, one stays right in front. Gone. The next one. Now I have to turn and shoot the three right over there. Right gun takes this one, left one these two. I have to be quick. Done. This one is firing back at me. I have to jump to the left side and to shoot him. Done. Who's next? They are starting to shoot at me. Rolling over the ground, right into their middle. Dodging, shooting in a circle. Fast. Faster. Done. Next. These two would hit each other, if I would run to the left. Let's do it. One's hit. The other one is mine. Left hand is out of ammo. Reloading and the right one's does this job to this guy over there. Short pause. Reloading. The empty ammo hits the ground. They push up some dust. Doesn't matter. I have to stay concentrated. Okay. There the next ones are coming. I'm running towards them. This one to my right surprises me. Kick him in the face, I'll finish him some seconds later. At first these ones. Hit arm, chest, chest, head shot, head, again head, leg. Shit this one needs another bullet. Hit his forehead. Looks disgusting. Keep clear! Concentrate! They are shooting at you. Jump right to the side. Both handed reload! It works! Next one. Turning quickly to the left, this one shot his companion with his rifle. My bullet does the rest. Shit! Failed him. Doesn't matter. The second shot failed too? Okay I'll come closer. Reload! Close enough to hit him but at first this one. Done! Now the you! Gotcha! Now I should go into this group of enemies to the right and shoot them in a circle. That's effective. Head, arm, chest, chest, head, shoulder. He needs another one and he gets it. Reload the right hand gun. The next group comes from behind the rock. I'll run and jump over it. Now I'm high and have got a good range. I guess they are more than 42 now. Anyway! Landing on my knee. Ohh... There one hides behind the rock. I'm landed very close to him. I point my left gun at his larynx. He throws away his rifle. Should I shoot him? Don't know. Should I? I'll decide in a second. First I have to shoot these guys. It isn't necessary to move. They seem to be stupid. One... Two... Three...Four...Five...Done! Where's the sixth. Weren't they six? Where is he? And what about the young guy to my right? Okay this time let's reign mercy. Just smash the gun against his head. He's falling. Okay, he won't shoot me. Argh... Shit! The sixth guy hit me from behind. Luckily I recognized him right in time. It's only a graze on my left shoulder. Shooting back. Right gun is empty! Rolling on the ground, raise the left and... Got him! How many are left? Not many! Job's nearly finished! But I have to keep concentrated. Head, head, chest, chest. I'm getting more slowly. I have to finish this. I'm exhausted! How many are left? Good! Only 9! They'll be killed quickly. Reload! And here we go! Hit him, hit him, he hit his friend, hit this one. Five left! Got them in a circle around me! Great! Shot these two and this one. And one for each gun left! Hit them! Okay, let's take a look around, maybe I forgot someone. No? Doesn't seems so!” Now Arthur safes his guns, breathing deeply. In and out. His pulse calmed slowly. He took a look around. He was surrounded by dead bodies. But one was still alive! He got more closely and kneeled down to his side. He tipped his shoulder with his gun. No reaction followed. He pushed and turned him around. It was a young man, like he was one himself, about twenty-four years old. He had brown short hair, had a huge nose and small lips. His eyes were closed. He was a tall, slim guy and his appearance wasn't very attractive. The rover came closer, stopped and the driver came out. Deeply impressed he took a look around and whistled admiring. “I'm glad to be your driver. I think it'd be a good idea to do what you want, or don't ya think so?” Martin Franklin looked at Arthur, who stood up and shortly answered: “This one is still alive!” “Hmm? And now what? Shall I shoot him?” Martin answered while coming closer. McGee answered: “No! We will take him with us, maybe he knows something important.”, and turned away, going back to the rover.
too be continued...
|
|
|
Post by Aedh on Nov 15, 2007 17:04:54 GMT -5
Very good ... I particularly like the stream-of-consciousness during the Gun Kata. I'm not going to contact you with corrections ... I rather like your style, and looking at how a native German-speaker handles English as a new language is adding to my understanding of German. Looking forward to more!
This has been a red-letter day for stories being brought along!
|
|
|
Post by clericjay on Nov 16, 2007 12:38:40 GMT -5
Very good ... I particularly like the stream-of-consciousness during the Gun Kata. I'm not going to contact you with corrections ... I rather like your style, and looking at how a native German-speaker handles English as a new language is adding to my understanding of German. Looking forward to more! This has been a red-letter day for stories being brought along! THANK YOU VERY MUCH! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D *bow to my readership* (Aedh: Which new things have you learned about German language from me? This sounds very interesting to me. )
|
|
|
Post by Libby on Nov 16, 2007 13:40:03 GMT -5
Hey...great start!
I liked the description of Libria as a 'bright metropolis' and the GunKata stuff was really good...as Aedh says a 'stream of consciousness'. (Reminded me of that bit in 'The Fifth Element' when Bruce Willis is assessing the bad guys)
I take my virtual hat off to anybody who can write effectively in another language.
|
|
|
Post by Aedh on Nov 16, 2007 17:21:02 GMT -5
(Aedh: Which new things have you learned about German language from me? This sounds very interesting to me. ) Mostly just by looking at how you choose to construct sentences, with dependent and subordinate clauses racked up in a way that reminds me of how my German grandmother used to speak and talk. And occasional details such as this: "The Father," with the definite article attached, is a direct echo of "Der Vater," a most German concept and phrase which carries layers of meaning it doesn't necessarily have in English. LATER ... OK, I edited the other part out. I don't want to upset anyone necessarily. Nobody comes on here to read about that fellow. At least I hope not.
|
|
|
Post by aikidoal on Nov 16, 2007 18:22:30 GMT -5
"Mr. McGee, don't make me angry. You would't llike me when I'm angry." -- Bill Bixby as David Banner in "The Incredible Hulk"
|
|
|
Post by clericjay on Nov 17, 2007 16:20:11 GMT -5
(Aedh: Which new things have you learned about German language from me? This sounds very interesting to me. ) Mostly just by looking at how you choose to construct sentences, with dependent and subordinate clauses racked up in a way that reminds me of how my German grandmother used to speak and talk. And occasional details such as this: "The Father," with the definite article attached, is a direct echo of "Der Vater," a most German concept and phrase which carries layers of meaning it doesn't necessarily have in English. LATER ... OK, I edited the other part out. I don't want to upset anyone necessarily. Nobody comes on here to read about that fellow. At least I hope not. Man, your good! The use of subordinate clauses is something normal for me. I think I'm influenced by German language of higher standard that much, that I didn't recognised this. This style of speaking and writing has been the language of higher educated people since medieval. Maybe they wanted to underline the difference between them and the ordinary people or they were influenced by any other language, like Latin for instance. (But this is something I don't know, because I'm not able to speak Latin.) This has been the speaking style of higher educated people until the public education has become better in 17th and 18th century. That seems to be the time, when this style became normal and most of the Germans expressed their thoughts in that way. And so do I. I think this influenced me very much, without ever thinking about it before. (But you should read German laws, these sentences are pretty complicated and hard to understand sometimes. In Germany we call this unusually and much more complicated style of speaking "Beamtendeutsch" (office-German).)In German it's the following: If you only use the word "Father", every German would think, you are talking about your own father. But if you use "the Father" everybody associates a specific person with that title, because it's THE, means the only one. [LATER TOO: I also edited the paragraph here.] I hope you understood what I explained and I can help you to understand the German language better. ;D But I'm deeply impressed that you spot those things. And also thank you, aikidoal and Mira for reading my story. ;D I will write on chapter 2 and hopefully you will be able to read it at the end of the coming week!
|
|
|
Post by Aedh on Nov 17, 2007 16:55:46 GMT -5
An acquaintance of mine used to talk about "die drei Vatern" (his usage) of the German language:
1. Luther, because his Bible made the east Thuringian dialect the dominant one for educated people throughout Germany:
2. Goethe, because of his gift of coining so many sayings that have passed into the language as common phrases; and,
3. Nietzsche, because his style transformed the way written German entered the twentieth century, making it more compact and economical.
|
|
|
Post by clericjay on Nov 17, 2007 17:18:23 GMT -5
An acquaintance of mine used to talk about "die drei Vatern" (his usage) of the German language: 1. Luther, because his Bible made the east Thuringian dialect the dominant one for educated people throughout Germany: 2. Goethe, because of his gift of coining so many sayings that have passed into the language as common phrases; and, 3. Nietzsche, because his style transformed the way written German entered the twentieth century, making it more compact and economical. I'm sure that these persons influenced the German language very much! The Luther bible was a book every German (except the Catholics maybe) red, who was able to read and a lot of people tried to copy the writing style of Goethe and admired him. But Nietzsche didn't simplified German language. He also used a high standard language, but he used the various possibilities of German in a very intelligent and impressive way. But his language wasn't simple, I think.
|
|
|
Post by clericjay on Nov 27, 2007 11:56:02 GMT -5
I have to apologize for that! I planned to post it already, but I had not enough time to finish it. I'm very sorry, but I will finish the second chapter as soon as possible. Thank you very much for your interest in my story. ;D
|
|
|
Post by clericjay on Dec 23, 2007 12:54:53 GMT -5
Chapter two: “Imitating isn't enough!”
The sun of the next day was turning into red. Sunset has begun. Arthur activated the computer in front of him and connected it with his suit. The Rover was shaken hardly caused by the speed they were driving. Franklin loved to drive with full speed over rough terrain. He always laughed like a maniac when another rock shook the whole car. In the back of the rover was a small room, filled with a computer, boxes with food and equipment kept by lashings. In the tight middle part sat Arthur next to the young man they decided to take with them. This guy still seemed unconscious. Arthur did not really cared. He uploaded the recordings of the small cameras on his arms, his helmet and his back. In deep concentration, he did not looked at the young man with the Hispanic outward appearance, who sat cowered at the end of tight gangway in the centre of Rovers back part. Every time the vehicle was shaken he changed his position a little bit. Arthur felt into very deep concentration while analysing his last fight. Unfortunately he recognized something changed in the room. He did not knew what. Every sense were sharpened and reached out for something irregular and finally he got something. “I know that you are awake. You don't have to act unconscious.” The young man did not made a move. Arthur started to go on: “Your breathing frequency changed. I know that you are awake for sure. You can move.” No reaction followed. Arthur took a deep breath and took his gun onto the head of the guy. “I'll count till three...” No reaction followed. “One...” Nothing happened. “Two...” Arthur unlocked his gun. “Three...” Now the young guy jerked, while Arthur pulled the trigger. A loud “Click” resonated through the Rover. The young man finally opened his eyes and looked at the gun next to his temple. He sweat and breathed very fast. Arthur took the gun away from him and turned it near to his own eyes, checking it carefully. “This always works.” said Arthur and laid the gun aside. “I'm Arthur! Arthur McGee! Nice to meet you!” He reached him his right hand with an insinuated smile. The young man looked hesitating from hand to Arthur's face and again back to hand. After shortly thinking about his situation he took the reached hand and shook it, answering: “My name is Juan Sanchez. May I ask you something?” “Please feel free to do so.” was Arthur's answer. “How were you able to... to kill us all so easily? I mean what was this... this fighting style?” The question, which interested him most bubbled out of his mouth with enthusiasm. Arthur wondered about him: “Don't you want to know why you are still alive, where we are or who we are?” Juan thought about it and replied: “No! We are in your Rover, I'm still alive because you believe that I know something useful and 'we' must mean you and the driver. I want to know how you did this. I mean this was amazing, this was unbelievable, fantastic..” Arthur laughed about this answer. This was a seldom moment, because he was a calm and quite person. “No, you are wrong. I decided to let you live, because you let your rifle down. You capitulated and I'm not gruesome.” Arthur stopped smiling and fixed this interesting young man with his eyes. Juan looked very surprised. “Uhhmmm... Did I? Maybe because I knew that I couldn't stand a chance against you.” The room was quite for some seconds. The Rover was shaken regularly.They reached a highway, which was not completely destroyed, but filled with potholes and some parts were missing. It was Arthur, who continued the conversation: “What have you done in this area?” “My company attacked another track to get some food. We were on the way back to our bunker, when you assaulted us.” The look Arthur was throwing at him became very sharp and his question had an angry undertone. “Which bunker?” “HO-41. This is our base.” “It was... It has been destroyed! No survivors left!” Arthur interrupted his speech before he was able to continue. Juan was shocked. “Was it your action?” Arthur negated. “Someone else. I don't know who, but we were send to do it.” “Only you two?” “No, I would have been on my own. He is my driver. Oh, I haven't introduced him to you. This is Martin Franklin.”Arthur pointed at him with his finger. Martin shortly said “Hi!”, hold his hand up into the air and concentrated onto the road again. “You already demonstrated that you are able to do so. But you haven't answered my first question.” Juan was asking again. Arthur was not sure, whether he should explain the Gun-Kata to him. But even if he would do, this guy would not be able to handle it on his own. It was improbable that he could become dangerous. Arthur decided to answer. “I'm able to use the Gun-Kata.” “Gun-...what?” Juan replied. “Gun-Kata. Do you know martial arts?” The young man nodded. “Yes. My father watched Asian martial arts movies very often, before the Internet collapsed.” “The Gun-Kata is a kind of modern martial art. It treats the gun as a total weapon. Through analysis of gun fights we have recognized that the geometrical distribution of opponents in a gun battle is a statistical predictable element. We developed different techniques and fluid positions representing a maximum kill zone, inflicting the maximum amount of damage to a maximum number of opponents, while keeping yourself clear of the returning fire.” Juan was amazed. “So it's a kind of gun-fight style basing on math?” “Not exactly! It bases on statistical analysis, that's true, but you need more to handle it. You have to stay concentrated and to clear your mind. It's necessary to be physically well trained to be fast. You have to cool your emotion down and to react faster then your opponents while taking care of your and their movements. The Gun-Kata gives you the techniques and the knowledge to be predominant towards everyone. We are always extending the statistics and improving everything, ourself and our skills. This is the reason, why I'm always recording my battles via cameras on my suit.” He turned the computer desktop into Juan's direction, so he was able to watch the recorded fight. Enthusiastically like a little child Juan asked the question that laid on his tongue and started to burn on it. “Would you teach me to use Gun-Kata?” Arthur already waited for this question. “Should I? Maybe you would use it against me. It's not logical to support your own enemy.” Now Juan begged for a positive answer. “How could I ever defeat you? You are unbelievable! And I don't have any reason to kill you anymore. You've killed my commander, my family died long ago and my bunker is destroyed. I'm totally free now, but I will agree to give this freedom up for learning the Gun-Kata. I would agree to be your servant, if you'd teach me. Please!” “Freedom isn't worth anything these days. Every free person dies early, because he can't stand against these many marauding troops. Most humans are able to survive only in groups and solid systems, supporting and securing them.” Recognizing that Arthur doesn't want to teach him, Juan became angry. “And I want to be a member of your system. I want to be your apprentice. I want to learn Gun-Kata.” “For which purpose?” Juan Sanchez hasn't thought of this question. His answer was spontaneous: “I want to be invincible.” Arthur stared at him. The silence was overwhelming. Another pothole broke the nearly sacred silence before Arthur did it. “This is the wrong reason. I won't teach you for that reason!” He turned around and concentrated on the recording of his battle. He stopped analysing it for a second. “Martin! We should find a save place to rest for a while. It will become dark soon.” “Okay, boss!” returned from the drivers seat loud. Juan sat in the back of the Rover and observed Arthur.
The night raised its face over the land and the moon shined in beautiful clear blue. Martin constructed a stack of wood nearby to Rovers silhouette, which was the only evidence of it existing at night. Juan inflamed the campfire. Arthur finally left the vehicle. He stood near to the fire, when he started going through different Gun-Kata poses, while forming his hands to imaginary guns by pointing with two fingers towards his invisible opponents. It looked like shadow-boxing with guns. He became more faster while turning around and changing poses, positions and attitudes. Dancing flames of the campfire lighted his movements. Juan watched an impressive demonstration of Arthur's skills, though there were no guns in the hands. But his style of killing became visible through his movements. Every spectator would be able to imagine the merciless and fast style of killing Arthur was training at the moment. To Juan it was fascinating. For him it was nothing but art. He felt like watching someone invincible, someone who was like a superior human. He wanted to become like Arthur. Juan Sanchez started to make his intentions become true right in this moment. He stood up, walked to Arthur and started to mimic his movements. He was not nearly fast enough to follow the fluid motions, but he tried hard. They even did not stop during Arthur started to talk. “You should know something first: Imitating isn't enough to handle the Gun-Kata. In consideration to this I would suggest that it would be better if you'd stop it.” Juan did not think of stopping. “I told you that I want to learn and if you don't want to teach me, I'm forced to observe and to imitate you.” They moved nearly synchronous. Arthur increased his speed, so it became difficult for his apprentice to follow. After some fast turns and many different arm movements Juan finally tumbled. Arthur stopped and helped him to stand up, instructing: “You can't master Gun-Kata by imitating. It's necessary to know things, which can be taught by a professional like me only.” Juan stood on his feet again. He was a little bit taller then his master, but his skills did not reached even near to him. “We should eat something.” Arthur became hungry. They sat down next to the campfire and ate the things Martin cooked in the flames. They were almost silent. Some dogs were yipping in the distance, but they listened to the crepitation of the wooden sticks burning in the flames. Juan was the first one saying something. “What was the your reason to learn Gun-Kata?” Arthur looked at him, then back to his food before he answered. “I was never asked, if I want to. My parents died when I was a baby. A secret special unit of the secret service choose me and other orphans for their program. They trained me and many other to make human weapon of us. They taught me Gun-Kata. I lived a normal peaceful life after instructions and waited for instructions. During the war the whole system broke down and I was send as a soldier on battlefield, though I was a civilian at that time. The commander of bunker TX-13 found me in my home town. He recognized the worth of me and my comrades. The '2nd Nuclear Assault' destructed our town. Now we are members of the bunker TX-13 and working for its citizen as special agents. We are no ordinary soldiers. The returning service consists of food and shelter.” Martin added some further information. “We still have 21 'Agents'. Most of the others died during the nuclear strike and caused by the following diseases. 5 other died during fights in the last years. But they are our guarantee for survival. There's no army on continent, which could defeat them.” The driver grinned. Arthur stood up, walked over to the Rover. He came back with bread in his hands. Ignoring the two others he started to throw pieces of it everywhere around in the surroundings. “What is he doing?” Juan could not imagine the purpose of Arthur's action. Martin answered him. “He wants to do some training. He has to stay fit.” Juan wondered about this answer. “But he is spreading out pieces of bread. What kind of training is this?” Martin replied smiling. “You have to wait until tomorrow. If you will stand up early enough you will see a show, which will blow you away.”
The next morning was a wonderful one. No cloud covered the red sun rise. The air was cold and fresh, the birds flew around squawking. Martin Franklin waked up Juan and told him to watch out of the windshield. Arthur was standing in front of the Rover a few meters away. He stood in the middle of a huge swarm of birds, the sunrise behind him. All kinds of birds, especially crows were arriving to fight about the pieces of bread Arthur has spread out on the last evening. It seemed like it were thousand of birds, fighting, eating and screwing under the tender red gleam of the rising sun. Wafts of mist undulated over the fields. The picture Juan and Martin were watching was overwhelming beautiful. Arthur stood in the middle of the bird swarm with guns in his hands. The crows ignored him, because he did not moved any millimetre. “He will start in some seconds. Sit down and enjoy!” Martin sat down in the drivers seat and the same did Juan. Finally Arthur moved and lifted up both arms simultaneously. His movement, though it was very slowly, scared the birds and they started to fly away. Arthur raised his head and started a storm of death. He shoot one bird after another trying to hit as many as possible. One bird after another was killed by bullet kisses. Agent McGee was very fast and he killed precisely. Every bullet hit a bird, sometimes it crashed through their bodies and hit another one, who had the misfortune of entering fire line in the wrong moment. Bodies of birds rained from the sky and saturated the earth with blood. Juan was fascinated by this beautiful picture mixed with Arthur's composition of death. The gunman McGee became to fast for viewers to follow his movements. The rush of shooting was interrupted when he had to reload his weapons. Arthur felt into deep concentration. The birds he was killing weren't living creatures for him, but aims, small and quick aims, which were much harder to hit than any human. He aimed them with all his senses. He heard the flaps, watched the scared small bodies and felt the gusts of wind caused by hundreds of birds, fleeing but dying in the skies. It was totally awe-inspiring to Juan. This happened within one minute, but the time seemed to pass so slowly that it felt like an eternity. But it was over, when the surviving birds succeed to leave Arthur's fire range. Last bird corpse hit the ground, when Arthur returned to his Rover. Martin ran out into the territory to count the bodies. Juan was not able to say anything. He did not knew the words to express what he felt. He looked at Arthur like he would be a ghost and admired his skills. “Did you like my performance?” Arthur took a bottle filled with clear fresh water. It ran down his throat. Martin came back and announced the result. “Threehundredfiftysix! Twenty under your personal record. What a pity.” Arthur reached for a measurement instrument. “That's okay. Look if some of the birds aren't contaminated. Juan, if you find some, take them with you. We can eat them on our way back to the bunker.” Juan took the instrument and ran to the birds cemetery. Arthur watched him collecting bird corpses. He worried, whether the commander would accept Juan or if he would have to kill him. It was not his wish to kill him, but if commander Smith ordered to do so, he would not demur.
|
|
|
Post by Aedh on Dec 24, 2007 2:10:06 GMT -5
Fascinating. You're creating very unusual and interesting characters here. Well done.
|
|
|
Post by clericjay on Dec 24, 2007 7:10:27 GMT -5
Thank you very much! ;D It really encourages me to have such a great audience like you are! ;D My favourite part of the second chapter is the last one. I'd really like to see this scene in a movie or picture or something like that. Must be looking fantastic! What you have red is the second version of the chapter. I didn't like the first one, especially the dialogues were very bad. Dialogues are my "weak point" in writing a story in general, but I'm working on improving my skills in this case. Finally I rewrote the chapter and this is the version I'm satisfied with. ;D
|
|
|
Post by marphlets on Jan 3, 2008 17:35:50 GMT -5
This very interesting! I love reading surprising back story on a character I had thought was simple. And you gave him the name Arthur - LOL! Like King Arthur and his round table, only Father's Camelot turns out to be a dark and twisted one.
I loved your descriptions. They were very imaginative. I didn't know English was your second language until I read this! My mother was fluent in German and taught me some of the language when I was a girl. In situations such as this:
"In German it's the following: If you only use the word "Father", every German would think, you are talking about your own father. But if you use "the Father" everybody associates a specific person with that title, because it's THE, means the only one."
...I just read over the definite article without noticing. So that didn't hold me up in the story at all.
I love what you're doing to the "Father" persona - Very intriguing!
|
|
|
Post by clericjay on Jan 4, 2008 9:36:09 GMT -5
Thank you very much! ;D I'm always happy, if someone likes what I'm doing. Your mother speaks German? That's great! Please greet her from me. "Es freut mich immer sehr, wenn jemand Deutsch lernt und Interesse dafür zeigt. Ich bin nähmlich der Ansicht, dass wir eine interessante Kultur und eine schöne Sprache haben." What do you mean with "your second language"? I'm learning English in school only. There aren't many people in my surroundings, who are able to speak English, but I had some exercises during communicating with people, who can't speak German. I know some people from all over the world. I like English very much! It's an interesting language and much easier to learn than some other. And to write such a fan fic. really helps me improving my skills. ;D If you like this version of Father, then you should like his changes in the later parts of my story. This will be very interesting, if I will be successful.
|
|
|
Post by clericjay on Jan 29, 2008 16:20:45 GMT -5
Chapter three: They won't accept a stranger!
Two days later the group of three reached the surrounding area of bunker TX-13. It was situated in the middle of a huge destroyed town. Juan stood on the top of the Rover, which parked on a hill in front of the town. Arthur told his driver to stop there. He wanted Juan to enjoy the view from there and he did. The young man saw the most impressing thing in his young live under the bright hot sun. He had travelled through deserts and steppes, he has seen destroyed bunkers and towns as well as the pain of thousands, the huge red mountains and the open fields, which were riddled by detonations, but what he saw in this moment was the most impressing thing he had ever seen. The town was spread over a wide terrain and consisted of many small, mostly destroyed buildings. Every building which was higher then 5 floors has been blown away by the nuclear bomb, which exploded in the centre of the city. The old ruins of the town will be known as the “Nethers” later, but these day the town was still called by its original name. The middle part was a gigantic flat area, which was surrounded by a huge wall porcupined with watchtowers. The area looked like a big military base and in fact it was one. Right in the middle of the whole complex stood a high skyscraper, surrounded by a few small houses, barracks and the tube-like entries of the bunker itself. The skyscraper was the only one still standing on the whole east cost area of the continent and it was not a part of the original town, it was built by the citizens of bunker TX-13 after civilization was blown out of the bygone metropolis. Every human, who survived the war, was amazed to see such a “world wonder” in the centre of the dead megacity. In the background a clear blue sky and the sun, which seemed to touch the monument of human will to survive and to turn it into a massive and long shadow, perfected the picture. Juan stared at it. His view rambled over the town until Arthur decided to go on. Juan faltered for a while, but Martin started the engine of their Rover again. Driving through the town itself was not that interesting. Cities looking like that were not rare these days. Most buildings were not complete and the ones, which were did not look pretty. Nobody was on the streets. Nothing moved in the streets of the Nethers. Everywhere Juan saw only incomplete fabrics, brown and gray bases of higher buildings and rusty fences. Finally they have reached the centre of the town. Martin halted the vehicle in front of the awe-inspiring gray wall. The street they have followed leaded into a high gate, which opened slowly after a soldier, who stood at the top of the ultimate barrier, beckoned towards his comrade. The Rover entered the inner area. The Rover passed a concrete bridge. A deep fosse meandered its way along and between the two walls protecting the aboveground space of bunker TX-13. The group of three had to stop in front of the identification control station at the second metal gate. A young soldier tapped his rifle against the window at the drivers site. Martin Franklin knew, what he had to do. He opened the door and went out of the Rover. He pleased Juan to do so too by making a gesture of his hand. “You are Martin Franklin, is that correct?” The soldier looked at his face briefly and checked the documents the driver gave him. He was not almost finished, when Juan left his seat. Another soldier at the gate recognized him now and pointed his rifle at the stranger. “Down on your knees! Immediately!” He gave a warning shot into his direction, which failed Juan's leg only a few centimetre. Juan threw himself to the ground and laid his hands over his head. This was not the first time he was ordered to do so. More and more soldiers arrived at the Rover. Slowly they moved near to Juan. He did not dare to make a move while four muzzles were pointed at him. The document controlling soldier looked down to the young man lying on the hard street, then turned his head towards Mr. Franklin again, asking: “Who is this? I don't know him. This ain't a member of this bunker. What you're trying to do is illegal.” “He shouldn't be your problem!” Arthur finally left the standing vehicle. He went over to the young soldier and reached his passport to him. The man grabbed it. He checked Arthur's face in an askance way, before he checked the document. He only had to look at the symbol at the top of it to recognize that Arthur McGee was a member of the so-called “agency”. Arthur did not wonder about the soldiers first reaction and that he did not knew him. He has not been at the bunker for a rather long time. Now the soldier became nervous and stiff. His hand offered the passport back to his owner, who took the opportunity. “I'm sorry, Sir!” His voice trembled slightly, but he got back his self control and went on speaking with certainty. “Sir, I hope that you are sure about the knowledge of law in the bunker district. I must apologize for my mistrust in you and that I did not recognized your status in the first moment. But I am not authorized to allow a complete stranger to enter TX-13. He might be a saboteur or a danger to our citizens.” Arthur looked deep into the eyes of the soldier, then to the other soldiers, who still pointed their weapons at Juan and back to the man in front of him. He answered: “I know our laws very well. I guarantee that this man won't be able to do any harm to any of our citizens, I would have killed him, before he could even think of doing something like this and I'm sure that he will become a loyal soldier of our glorious army.” The soldier thought some seconds about the situation and finally came to a conclusion: “The commander will decide about it. You are allowed to enter the bunker to ask him for an authorization.” He turned around. “Open the gate!” Juan was allowed to stand up again. The four soldiers checked the Rover for suspicious objects, but they found nothing. Finally Arthur and his companions were allowed to enter the inner zone of the bunker, which already grew upper earth. The Rover passed the huge metal gate. Two flags on top of it wafted in the wind. They had a blue background and a big XIII being spread over the whole flag. This was the official flag of bunker TX-13, which was one of the biggest on the whole continent.
Commander Cornelius Adam Smith was angry, when Arthur McGee and the stranger Juan Sanchez stood in his office. He was the highest rank officer in the town, who survived the nuclear phase of the war. But the old structures and the old hierarchies did not exist anymore on the planet. The old societies, the states and the social structures broke down. They have destroyed themselves. Their own proud and hatred, their egoism and their ignorance, their short-sightedness and ruthlessness has judged them to their own doom. The nuclear war was the death penalty for nearly all of them. The world was set on fire and the old world died out. But not in this bunker. Not in the domain of commander C. A. Smith. He guaranteed law and order as well as the old structures and power. He believed that true peace can be reached and this war will end only if someone wins and ends it. Otherwise all these immense sacrifices would have been for nothing. He was sure that he will be the one, ending the Third World War. The army of bunker TX-13 was the strongest single faction on the continent still existing. He wanted to win this war. This was the only way to end this war, which had significance. And to achieve his goal he needed loyal soldiers, absolute discipline and he needed the agents. But on the other hand he had to secure his citizens. They had to survive. They had to be patient and satisfied. Their children would be the next generation of soldiers. These days most of them were satisfied by knowing that they are safe, but they did not knew what was going on outside of the bunker. Commander Smith was sure that they will win. They had to. Arthur believed he only prolonged the war. He was sure that Smith was not the right man to bring peace into man's heart. He and Juan stood in front of Smiths desk and waited for the decision of the commander. Two other persons sat in the office. Smiths first secretary Camille Gabriel, a not that bad looking woman and his fat son, who never had to work one single day of his life. The secretary was very calm and quite, but the fat boy was the opposite. He was a mean, lazy and gloating person. His father was not proud of him, but he was the only person of his family still living. Cornelius had promised to his wife that her son won't become a soldier. The negative effect of the privileges Michael Alfred Smith had were is weak and mean character. This fat boy wished to see how his father, the great commander, would let these two man execute. He had not seen an execution for a long time. Nobody dared to betray the bunker, because the world outside was gruesome and commander Smith was a truly powerful man. Not even Arthur although he wished for someone else, someone better, to reign the continent. The office was situated on the highest floor of the skyscraper. It would have been a fantastic outlook from there, but the window shades were closed. The commander started to speak after some time of silence. “Mr. McGee! I disagree your attitude. You and your driver left the group much to often. You disobey my orders and the rules of our glorious army. It may be true that you are able to defend yourself alone and that you are a strong agent. It may be true that you always have been successful, though you never obey our tactics. BUT you ignore MY Orders!” Smith smashed his fist onto his desk and stood up. He was raging now. “And now you bring me a stranger. You had to order to kill every enemy soldier. You had to ignore the civilians and HAVE to KILL EVERY ENEMY SOLDIER!!! So please explain, why this one is still alive and why you danger us all? This man could be a spy. This man could be a assassin. I don't understand your logic, agent. Explain to me why he should become a citizen?” Arthur was calm, as he always was. He answered in a calm and slow kind: “You are right! I must apologies for my arbitrary behaviour. The reason for me to go it alone is the persuasion to be more efficient on my own. A group of two does not attract much attention, but a battalion would do. Secondly I have to state that this man is no danger for TX-13. He will be a loyal member. I'm absolutely sure of this. Furthermore I decided to present him to my master. Yes, I know very well what I want to aim at: He should become an agent. I will ask my master for his admission to teach Juan Sanchez Gun-Kata.” Commander Smith wondered about the smaller man. “Are you sure that he is trustworthy enough to make a perfect weapon out of him?” Smith sat down again. “I'm convinced that he will be a loyal agent. The agency needs talented new blood.” Arthur was not aggressive, but peremptorily. “Agent McGee! You shouldn't ignore that you aren't the best we have. You are only the average and not high ranking enough to decide about such things.” The commander of TX-13 stood up again and pointed his finger at Arthur. But he was right. Arthur was not the best agent according to Gun-Kata skills as well as tactical knowledge and talent. The best and most loyal agent the bunker had was Basque Omag. He was a friendly and polite person. He was very intelligent, but also well trained. This man seemed to be the best friend of every citizen and soldier of the bunker, trustworthy and loyal. He was the perfect agent. He was perfect from the first days of the secret service program for the “special unit”. Arthur was in the same class, in the same village, in the same unit, now in the same bunker too. But Basque has always been the better one. Arthur envied him in his youth until the day that has changed his life, the day that changed his own attitude. Arthur did not wanted to think of this day. This always made him sad. The commander went on with his speech: “And by the way, couldn't you get some young novitiates from the Gun-Kata monastery? If my information are correct you are still in contact with them. So why should we accept a nobody?” The monastery was founded by the Gun-Kata masters and students, who did not wanted to be involved in the war. Only a few agents knew where this monastery was situated, which has already become a kind of legend. Arthur himself did not knew where it was situated. The agent looked at Juan, realizing that he was afraid. Arthur went on: “I please you to follow my please. I'm not the one to decide, but I guarantee that this man will fight for the common good of us all. I'm convinced of this. Otherwise I will kill him personally and without hesitations.” Now the fat boy wanted to protest, but his father ignored junior. “I don't believe that you are the one I can rely on.” “I promise that you can. Did I ever disappointed you? Did I ever failed?” Arthur wanted to rescue Juan's life. Commander Smith thought about it. Some seconds later he answered: “Though you ignore my orders sometimes, you have been always successful. This is the reason, why I let your master decide. If he agrees to you, then I will accept it. Then this man can become a citizen.” “Thank you very much!” Arthur was relieved now. The same was Juan Sanchez, who was very thankful for Arthur's efforts and the possibility to learn the Gun-Kata. He was very excited in this moment. The commander stood up and turned around to the window. He pressed a button and the window shades went upward. He did not looked at them when he added a very important information: “But you should hurry. Mr. McGee, your master is dying right now. He awaits you. Both of you may go. I will call you if I have something more to say about it.” Arthur and Juan left the office. Juan closed the door and a second after he heard the fat boy protest against the decision. Hearing this made him grin, but it only covered his nervousness. Martin came to him and told him, they would have to hurry. They went into a lift, which went to the underground, the biggest part of the bunker, the labyrinth of tubes, halls and tunnels.
Arthur met agent Frederic Zeiske coming out of the room, where his master was about to die. The room was situated in the hospital section of the bunker. Frederic told Arthur that the master won't live any longer and that he asked every of his students to him for a last conversation. “It's very good that you are back in time. Some of us are still on a mission and probably wouldn't be able to say goodbye.” He took a deep breath before he went on, while pointing at a nearby bench, were some of the other agents sat. “We all are waiting... You know what for... I'm sorry... I know that it's sad... I think that you are the next one... I dunno... Please go in! I don't know who's next, but I think that it'll be okay.” Frederic Zeiske laid his hand on Arthur's shoulder and went afterwards to the bench. Juan and Martin arrived at the door. Arthur pleased them to wait outside. “This is something private.” Arthur was not sad when he opened the door. Honestly he was curious about, what his master had to told him. Which last advice he would give him. He went in and closed the door behind him.
|
|
|
Post by Aedh on Jan 30, 2008 0:39:29 GMT -5
Nicely done as always. I'm glad to see at least one writer taking the correctly respectful attitude toward our heroic Founder.
(And I can't wait to meet Basque!)
|
|
|
Post by marphlets on Jan 30, 2008 18:26:07 GMT -5
This is turning into an very exciting look at Father's history. I love the ending with a dieing master's last words. Very mysterious. I can't wait to see what he says to Arthur.
|
|
|
Post by clericjay on Jan 31, 2008 7:15:44 GMT -5
Thank you very much! I'm very glad to read that you all like my story. ;D And I can say that it will become better... Basque and the master's last words will be readable in the next chapter. In my story planning these parts would have been in the same chapter, but the scene at the gate and the discussion about Juan in the commander's office became much longer than I thought and so I decided to split the chapter into two parts. Now I'm doing some notes of my characters, because they will become more and more, so I have to organize them a bit. After doing this I'll go on with writing the next chapter. Basque will become a very important figure during Arthur's "Revolution" and the Gun-Kata-master... well... he is dying...
|
|
|
Post by Libby on Feb 7, 2008 16:35:18 GMT -5
Finally got to catch up with this.
I will be honest and say that I do find it a bit difficult to read. Perhaps breaking it up a bit more would help. It's more the way the text appears on the boards, really. Shorter paragraphs and more 'returns' make it easier to read. For me, this works better generally with web-based fiction...
Story wise, your take on how it all came about is very interesting, especially that the gunkatas appeared so early. Arthur (for those who remember - I keep having the odd vision of a toothless white cat eating food from a tin with its paw) really hasn't formulated his vision at all yet. I wonder what is going to be said to him and what effect it might have?
|
|
|
Post by clericjay on Feb 9, 2008 13:08:08 GMT -5
I will be honest and say that I do find it a bit difficult to read. Perhaps breaking it up a bit more would help. It's more the way the text appears on the boards, really. Shorter paragraphs and more 'returns' make it easier to read. For me, this works better generally with web-based fiction... It's always good to be honest! I think that your critic is acceptable for me, so I'll try to consider that while writing the next chapters. To be honest myself, I didn't really thought about this aspect. From my point of view it was good readable, though I proof-red it again on the board... But I know my text of course... Story wise, your take on how it all came about is very interesting, especially that the gunkatas appeared so early. Arthur (for those who remember - I keep having the odd vision of a toothless white cat eating food from a tin with its paw) really hasn't formulated his vision at all yet. I wonder what is going to be said to him and what effect it might have? Thank you! ;D I don't want to write an ordinary story. Imagining a story I usually do the following: I'm thinking about, what would happen in the story. And the first ideas I have are the ones I don't use, in most cases, because I think that they would be rather predictable. This is according to the main ideas and the basic plot. I think that there will be some predictable situations in this story, though I hope that I will be able to surprise you... Arthur ...isn't a cat in my mind... doesn't have the idea of Libria at this time. I think that this will be recognizable in the next chapter. He gets the idea later and until then you need to be patient. I think that this "starting phase" of my story is for getting to know the "original" Arthur, who will become Father later...
|
|
|
Post by clericjay on Feb 18, 2008 14:09:46 GMT -5
Chapter four: “I always thought I would die on battlefield.”
Arthur went into the room. It was dark inside. Only a small desk lamp shined at the bed of the old man, lying in it. The old man with the complete bald head was his master. One of the 5 founders and first developers of Gun-Kata. The one, who has trained every agent. This strong and invincible man was suffering on cancer. “Who's this?” The voice of the scrawny man was very low and rough. He looked like he would consisted of skin and bones only and finally he became to weak to move himself up to see with his own eyes, who was standing in front of the door, which was closed by Arthur. “I'm Arthur McGee!” Arthur did not moved. He stood there in the dark and waited for an order of the man, who was once tall and strong. The old man answered with his weak chalky voice, but he was not able to lift his own head for a moment. “Arthur? You are back?” He laughed, but it meant pain to his lungs. “I'm very glad to see you again. You must know that I'm suffering. I think this is nothing new...” Arthur interrupted his master: “You shouldn't talk to much. You are weak and you have to concentrate on the important things.” The old man started to laugh again. “Who's the master in this room? Me or you? I know that you care about me, but now it isn't important to keep my power, because I won't have it for long. But please come to me and sit down.” Arthur started to walk over to the bed and sat down on a small chair, that stood beside the bed. He entered the area, which was lightened by the desk lamp. “I can't abide the blinding hospital lights anymore. Don't wonder about it.” The old man smiled, while looked into the eyes of Arthur, but his smile was vanished by the serious face of Arthur, who did not showed any emotion. The old man looked to the ceiling. The room was strangely quiet for a moment. Arthur did not knew what he should say. He felt very unpleasant. They have never spoken to each other very often in the past, but now it was probably his last chance to speak to him. But Arthur did not knew what to say. The Gun-Kata-master was the one, who spoke again. “I always thought that I would die on battlefield. I always thought that one day there would have been an enemy, who was stronger than I was. But this never happened. Not even during the war. Everywhere people were dying. But not I, though I have been prepared for it. I believed in the prerogative of being a hero and dying in a battle when I was young and idealistic. I wanted to be someone special... a hero. So I worked hard and developed the Kata with the other agents of the secret service to have the skills to be victorious. I taught the Gun-Kata to all of you to give you the same possibilities. And one day the war started and I saw my chance about to come to prove that I am a hero. I wanted to prove it to the whole world, but the most important thing was, that I wanted to prove it to myself. To be honest, I thought that I have been useless before. But when the war started and the government recognized that we were a very worthwhile weapon, I was finally satisfied and awaited my death. But today... Today I know that I wasn't valuable, but my skills were. I degraded myself to a weapon in the hand of maniacs. You and me, we both saw the world burn. We both saw the end of the world, we have known for so many years. Now that it's gone I miss the world I once hated, the one which seemed so cold and gruesome... I wanted to die. But nobody was able to kill me, even though I became old. I waited for my final fight and for my ultimate enemy. And I found him: Cancer. My worst enemy wasn't human. Once no human could have killed me, but I know that there are higher forces, which I can't fight. Looking back to my life I have to confess that I wasted my whole life with fighting. Arthur, I gave you the skills you need to survive this war, but it's almost over. Arthur, don't waste your life fighting. War and hatred are useless. I realized this much to late... much to late...” The old man looked back at Arthur, who was thinking about, what his master told him. Finally Arthur said something: “Thank you very much. I will use your present, my skills, my knowledge for something useful.” “And what do you want to achieve?” Arthur was very sure about it: “Peace! A peace, which is sustainable. A peace which can't be broken by anyone!” “And how do you want to do this? So many tried. Nobody ever succeeded.” Arthur did not knew yet. This was the question he had asked himself again and again, without finding an answer. He had the will, but he had not the right way to reach it. He wanted to answer, when the door was opened and the screaming Basque Omag tried to enter the dark room. He was hold back by his comrades, the other agents. One of them tried to calm him: “Basque, it ain't your turn now. It's Arthur's time now. Please be patient. You will get your time later.” Basque pushed him aside. “Maybe he's dead later. I want to see him now!” The three man holding him gave each other an approving look and let him go in. He ran over to the bed, ignoring Arthur. “Master, please don't go! I don't want you to go. You are our father! We need you!” Basque, who had an usually happy personality, started to cry, seeing his master suffering like this. His heart was so sad. He wished to do something against the illness. He would have done everything to rescue his master from death, but he couldn't. He was helplessly. Everyone of them was. The other agents, who were at TX-13 these days entered the room and stood around the bed. Juan Sanchez and Martin Franklin looked into the room. Arthur still sat on his chair. The master started to speak and suddenly everyone was silent. “I'm so glad that you are all here. It's a privilege to die surrounded by the ones you love. This became very seldom these days. I'm thankful for this.” He coughed and gasped out, before he continued. “Probably I don't have much time left. ... Basque, you have always been the son I wished I would have had... and furthermore I believe that you are the best leader for us... for the agency. You always cared about everyone of us... and you are a reliable friend to all of us. I want you to become my successor. Basque! You will find a map under my pillow. I want you to take it when I'm gone. It shows the position of the Gun-Kata monastery. We have to keep contact to them. You will visit them alone and explain the situation to them. But the most important thing is that you burn the map after you came back. And you have to be the only one knowing, where it can be found. It is very important that nobody else knows, where it is, to guarantee it's safety.” Basque brushed away a tear. “Master, I promise to do so! I will lead my brothers for the common good of every citizen.” “That's good to hear!” After the old man finished his sentence, he started to cough extremely. Arthur looked aside and saw Juan and Martin standing in the door frame and watching the situation. Arthur remembered the please he wanted to ask his master. He stood up and shove his way through the other agents towards the bed of the old dying man. When he reached it he finally told his wish: “Master! I have one last question for you. It is very important. There is a young man. I want him to become my apprentice. I want to teach him the Gun-Kata and make an agent out of him. But it's not important what I want, but I wish that you will give your admission. Otherwise, he will be executed by the army. The commander doesn't trust him.” The master stopped coughing during Arthur's speech. His decision came very low and started with laughing. “You are asking me? You should ask Basque! He decides now and I want you to respect that. But if you are convinced that he is qualified... You have my admission.” He coughed strongly again. With his last power the master spoke his last words: “I love you all. But I want to warn you. I have wasted my life. I fought for nothing. I hope that you find something, which is worth reaching for. Please, don't waste your life fighting...” “No, that's not true... You didn't wasted your life...” Samantha Fail expressed her disagree, but the master didn't answered anymore. He died surrounded by his students. Surrounded by his true family...
Nobody spoke a word in this moment. They stood there and said nothing. They just stared at the body of the man, who has trained and educated them. Who was the father of these orphans, who were trained to be a living weapon. But the master gave them more... Basque Omag looked over to Samantha, who wept. “You are right. Without him nobody of us would have survived the war until now. We are still living to do what's right... We have to protect the others... the weak, the helpless.” He gave Samantha a hug, before he went to the head of the body to lift it and to take the paper lying under the pillow.
Arthur left the room. Juan and Martin followed him. Arthur's face did not show any emotion, which was strange to Juan. Arthur did not wanted to be sad. He did not wanted to drown in sadness. He wanted to stay clear thinking. His feelings should not overwhelm him again. But in this situation it was hard for him to swallow the sadness. This was the reason for him to leave the room as fast as he could. He would not stand a chance against his emotion, if he would stay there. He halted behind the next corner of the gangway crossing this section of the underground hospital. Martin hold Juan back. “Don't follow him. He needs to be on his own now.” Both sat down on the bench, standing near to the corner. They did not knew that Arthur leaned against the wall behind the corner and was able to listen to their conversation. “Why is he so cold? I mean why doesn't he seem to be sad? Did he hated his master?” Martin answered to Juan's question very low. “Well... I'm sure that he is sad actually. Very sad. You must know that I accompanied him for a rather long time. I know him well. And I know that he and his master... didn't had the deepest emotional connection.” Juan wanted to go into it much further. “But it seems like he doesn't want to show any emotions, to anyone. I thought that this was a part of his personality, however, he is calm even in this situation... I mean... I'm feeling sad as well, though I didn't knew the old man. But Arthur is so... cold. I don't understand it.” “Well, I'll guess I can trust you. But never tell Arthur or anyone that I told you this.” Martin came near Juan, while saying this quietly. “I'll promise!” Juan hold his right hand into the air and smiled. Martin Franklin started to tell the story of Arthur's change from an aggressive boy to an calm and disciplined man. Arthur listened. He listened and started to remember. The story of his own tragedy filled his heart with pure sadness.
|
|
|
Post by Aedh on Feb 25, 2008 13:25:45 GMT -5
Interesting ... nice touches. And you're obviously making improvements with your English! Well done Cleric.
|
|
|
Post by clericjay on Mar 2, 2008 8:00:27 GMT -5
And you're obviously making improvements with your English! Well done Cleric. Thank you very much! As I already said: This is the perfect exercise for me! ;D ;D ;D I'm very glad to hear that my improvements are obvious... and that there are some...
|
|
|
Post by clericjay on Mar 8, 2008 11:51:44 GMT -5
Hello? Readers? Where are you? I would be very glad to hear something from you again...
|
|
doomtoallchaos
Resistance Member
Another day is just another day to get your ass kicked by this guy!
Posts: 18
|
Post by doomtoallchaos on Mar 9, 2008 22:59:53 GMT -5
This is the best fan fic ive read (its also the only one ;D)
|
|
|
Post by Libby on Mar 10, 2008 4:48:06 GMT -5
This is the best fan fic ive read (its also the only one ;D) EQ has inspired quite a few of us to write... This is where JenGe put most of the fics... www.equilibriumfans.com/EQ-FanFiction.htmbut you can find others by Witcher Wolf, Aedh,reveria et al here on the EC-10 boards...just check through.
|
|
|
Post by clericjay on Mar 10, 2008 10:29:12 GMT -5
This is the best fan fic ive read (its also the only one ;D) I'm feeling honoured that you have chosen my fan fiction to read first of all these brilliant ones, existing at this site. ;D ;D And I'm very very glad that you liked it. I hope that you will read the upcoming chapters. But I'm actually very busy, so you have to wait for a while. Sorry...
|
|