Board Home | Search | Login The Resistance HQ :: Resistance Forums :: Resistance Discussions :: Equilibrium Parody Author Topic: Equilibrium Parody (Read 4,358 times) PhantomJ Sense Offender member is offline Joined: Nov 2003 Gender: Male Posts: 3 Equilibrium Parody « Thread Started on Nov 15, 2003, 9:28am » a pisstake: "Police!" "You know what to do!" Says a man, standing from behind the table. "No! Put the teapot down. Leave the microwavable waffles! What the hell are you all doing? I want you to take your guns and run outside in front of the Tetra Grammaton Sweeper Team!" "Sure boss!" they say, and run out. "Cleric, we think that there may be 50 offenders holed up inside." "OK. Lock the door." "Then what?" "Then make a casserole! What do you think, dipshit? Then we leave them. Why waste bullets?" "Cleric, we've found something." "If she's not blonde, I don't care." a man walks up and points a small instrument at a porn mag. "It's real." He says. "How do you know?" "The machine says so." "How does it know?" "How should I know? Did I make the machine?" "How should I know?" "You shouldn't." "OK." "Fine." "Wait! Give me that mag!" Boromir from LOTR runs forward. "Why?" "Because I want to... err... make sure it gets burned." "But the flamethrower dude's right here." "He misses things sometimes." "Are you an offender?" "err... no..." "OK. Just checking." Later, in the car. "Everytime I come to the nether it reminds me why we do what we do." "Fascinating. Why is that?" "Because father tells us to." "You need reminding of that? Prozium... Wish to God it were viagra." "Viagra?" "Errr... because i don't like to waste prozium." "Are you sure you're not an offender?" "Yes. Would I have prozium trickling down my suit if I wasn't injecting myself with it?" "I guess not." In his office that day: "Errr... because i don't like to waste prozium. Errr... because i don't like to waste prozium. Errr... because i don't like to waste prozium. Errr... because i don't like to waste prozium. Errr... because i don't like to waste prozium. Errr... because i don't like to waste prozium." Preston couldn't get his computer to stop repeating those lines over and over again. bah, i'll write more later if you like it. Link to Post - Back to Top   Logged You always knew. PJ Guest Re: Equilibrium Parody « Reply #1 on Nov 15, 2003, 9:42am » "I need something to do." thought preston, and went to the archives. "Hey!" says the guy behind the desk. "You're mate Boromir hasn't entered anything for yonks." Preston breaks his nose and punches him in the balls. "When did he last enter something?" "He hasn't. Ever." Preston pokes him in the eye. "When was the last time something was entered." "Nothing's ever been entered, cleric. The book's completely blank." Preston stamps on his toes and headbutts him. "What's the point of that?" "There isn't one." Preston pushes him over and places his foot on the man's groin. "Careful Preston... you're treading on my balls." Preston twists on his heel, a full 360 degrees. Ignoring the man's scream, Preston walks off, determined to find the porn mag. Link to Post - Back to Top   Logged MAX Grammaton Cleric First Class member is offline The South Park Cleric Joined: Aug 2003 Gender: Male Posts: 947 Location: hidden Re: Equilibrium Parody « Reply #2 on Nov 15, 2003, 9:43am » Yeah, do more. I'll go and think up some myself. Link to Post - Back to Top   Logged PhantomJ Sense Offender member is offline Joined: Nov 2003 Gender: Male Posts: 3 Re: Equilibrium Parody « Reply #3 on Nov 15, 2003, 9:54am » Preston, with a fully armed sweeper team at his back, runs at a door, and bounces off it. When he has tried the handle and opened the door, he walks into a room. "You are not yourself." says a little man holding a ring on a chain around his neck. Preston runs forwards and kicks him hard, watching him fly off into the distance. "Where's the porn mag?" Preston asks. "What?" "I said where's the porn mag?" "I said, what?" "It's poking out of your pocket!" and indeed it was. "You always knew..." "actually, I didn't." "but I being poor have only my dreams." "you're rolling in dosh!" "i have spread my dreams under your feet." "you fag!" Preston kicks him in the jaw. "tread softly..." Preston draws his gun, piroettes, and shoots boromir six times. the bullets ricochet off his chainmail. "because you tread on my..." Preston runs at him and kicks him between the legs. "i assume you dream, preston?" "i assume that you read porn. well, you won't be able to much longer!" "a heavy cost... i pay it gladly." "what is everything we do?" "there's no war. there's no porn." "don't i know it!" Link to Post - Back to Top   Logged You always knew. PhantomJ Sense Offender member is offline Joined: Nov 2003 Gender: Male Posts: 3 Re: Equilibrium Parody « Reply #4 on Nov 15, 2003, 5:08pm » you people are so dull Link to Post - Back to Top   Logged You always knew. MAX Grammaton Cleric First Class member is offline The South Park Cleric Joined: Aug 2003 Gender: Male Posts: 947 Location: hidden Re: Equilibrium Parody « Reply #5 on Nov 15, 2003, 6:05pm » Quote: I'll go and think up some myself. The only 'good' ideas that I had revolved mainly around the ‘ruined church’ scene with Partridge's assassination... And, I don't really feel comfortable with publicly making fun of such a beautiful scene. So, I won't be posting it. Link to Post - Back to Top   Logged Cleric Ward Grammaton Cleric member is offline No Tears, please! It's a Waste of good Suffering! Joined: Oct 2003 Gender: Male Posts: 159 Location: Achim, Germany Re: Equilibrium Parody « Reply #6 on Nov 16, 2003, 6:15am » Hey PJ, that's just great! I don't see, any problems with that; as a cynic person I believe in "Witzischkeit kennt keine Grenzen" (There are no limits for humour) so just keep up the good stuff!!! Link to Post - Back to Top   Logged The one part the Patrick, the one part the John, it's the every day routine of Tetra-Bale-A-Ton JenGe Evidentiary Storage Officer member is offline "Its just a vestigial word for a feeling you've never felt." Joined: Mar 2003 Posts: 8,505 Location: Surfing the Net Re: Equilibrium Parody « Reply #7 on Nov 17, 2003, 8:04am » Bawhahahahahah!!! This thread is tooooo funny!! *wipes tears from eyes* Link to Post - Back to Top   Logged "We accept the reality of the world with which we are presented." - Truman Show Cleric Baltaak Grammaton Cleric member is offline Joined: Jul 2003 Gender: Male Posts: 285 Location: Mississippi Re: Equilibrium Parody « Reply #8 on Nov 19, 2003, 8:27am » OMG..!! I'm rolling over here Link to Post - Back to Top   Logged "Excellent. I have nothing to hide." ClericVictor Grammaton Cleric member is offline Equilibrium is the state of equality, i guess i am in it. Joined: Jan 2004 Gender: Male Posts: 103 Location: Libria Re: Equilibrium Parody « Reply #9 on Feb 3, 2004, 4:33pm » MORE I DEMAND MORE Link to Post - Back to Top   Logged ClericHeliX Resistance Member member is offline Joined: Feb 2004 Posts: 18 Re: Equilibrium Parody « Reply #10 on Feb 5, 2004, 12:57pm » Pretty damn funny thread Link to Post - Back to Top   Logged -=Grammaton Cleric HeliX=- Cruis.In Grammaton Cleric member is offline Joined: Jul 2003 Gender: Male Posts: 132 Re: Equilibrium Parody « Reply #11 on Feb 6, 2004, 12:08am » heh totally funny, however i saw a part about prozium tricking down the suit, is that real, did he actually spill it? i never noticed. i always thought he just injected his for a shorter time than i saw Bale do it, so he had pulled it out before any got in. Link to Post - Back to Top   Logged Xenia Onatopp- Bale Grammaton Cleric First Class member is offline A CB addict and an EQ junkie Joined: Nov 2003 Gender: Female Posts: 4,139 Location: in CB's bedroom Re: Equilibrium Parody « Reply #12 on Feb 6, 2004, 6:52am » I just love this thread. I'm having a laugh attack again. Link to Post - Back to Top   Logged "Terrorism is the war of the poor. War is the terrorism of the rich."-an Iraqi protester. "Absolute power corrupts absolutely." from the novel Absolute Power by David Baldacci "There's so much month left at the end of the money"-CQ "Life is full of pain.Get used to it.-A Long Kiss Goodnight Cruis.In Grammaton Cleric member is offline Joined: Jul 2003 Gender: Male Posts: 132 Re: Equilibrium Parody « Reply #13 on Feb 6, 2004, 11:46pm » bump, answer question please! Link to Post - Back to Top   Logged MAX Grammaton Cleric First Class member is offline The South Park Cleric Joined: Aug 2003 Gender: Male Posts: 947 Location: hidden Re: Equilibrium Parody « Reply #14 on Feb 7, 2004, 1:43am » Ok. Quote: prozium tricking down the suit, is that real, did he actually spill it? No, he didn't. Link to Post - Back to Top   Logged ClericVictor Grammaton Cleric member is offline Equilibrium is the state of equality, i guess i am in it. Joined: Jan 2004 Gender: Male Posts: 103 Location: Libria Re: Equilibrium Parody « Reply #15 on Feb 16, 2004, 7:54pm » Cmon, MORE! Link to Post - Back to Top   Logged Guest Guest Re: Equilibrium Parody « Reply #16 on Feb 18, 2004, 1:30am » Dupont: wait! look at me..look at me Preston: ? Dupont: I'alive, I live...I-I breathe.... Preston: you lag. Dupont: no I dont...I use DSL. now that you know it, can you really lag, is it really laggy? Preston: who cares, STFU n00b. *bang* Dupont: wtf wtf wtf -dupont has left the game- Link to Post - Back to Top   Logged Future Member Guest Re: Equilibrium Parody « Reply #17 on Apr 14, 2004, 4:05pm » Brilliant! I was gonna write one m'self... Link to Post - Back to Top   Logged NateP Grammaton Cleric First Class The Master Chief member is offline HALO 3 is going to be teh Roxx0r!!!!111!!! Joined: Mar 2004 Gender: Male Posts: 925 Location: Texas Re: Equilibrium Parody « Reply #18 on Apr 14, 2004, 11:30pm » Funny stuff. Continue soon..... Link to Post - Back to Top   Logged Elusivus memberus(actually I forgot me password ) Original Siggy--> murray Sweeper member is offline no stairway... denied! Joined: Jun 2004 Gender: Male Posts: 93 Location: england Re: Equilibrium Parody « Reply #19 on Jun 28, 2004, 11:06am » i just came across this. noone has updated it for tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiime! why? why i say? Link to Post - Back to Top   Logged party on ClericEric Sense Offender member is offline Joined: Dec 2004 Posts: 1 Re: Equilibrium Parody « Reply #20 on Dec 27, 2004, 5:55am » oh my!! this is so funny! i was rolling on the floor when i read this! Link to Post - Back to Top   Logged Forum Jump--------------------» Home--------------------» ----------------------------------------» Resistance Forums--------------------- Resistance Discussions- Freedom Reading Room- Gun Kata- EC-10 Sense Offenses--------------------» Equilibrium MOD: Hall of Mirrors--------------------- Equilibrium MOD & Gamers Forum- Hall of Mirrors Project (Private)- MOD Testing (Private)--------------------» The Nethers (off-topic forums)--------------------- Nethers Pub- One Man's Vision --- UltraViolet- Cleric Bale Bonding- Evidentiary Reports- Hall of Destruction--------------------» Archive--------------------- Archive- Project EQ (currently shut down)